The Girl On The Left

On By gabriellestroup1 Comment

On 12/15/18 I graduated from UNL with my Bachelor’s. I was the first ever person on my dad’s side to graduate with a degree. This day was very special, and just like any grad, I was so proud of myself of what I had just accomplished.

As much as I’d love to say that I was as happy as I looked in this picture, it would be a complete lie. Don’t get me wrong, I was proud, excited, and beyond overwhelmed by this accomplishment, but the happiness I should’ve been feeling was masked by depression, fear, and a broken heart.

I remember celebrating with my family afterwards and just not being able to get to the happiness level I so desperately wanted to be at. I knew in my head that I needed to put the sadness and depression away for just one day, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t go away. I remember being so frustrated with how much this sadness in my life affected me. I was so mad that a stupid broken heart was stopping me from enjoying MY day. And honestly, the following months were followed by the same broken feeling.

At the beginning of this year I did everything I could to change all the areas of my life. I wanted a healthier lifestyle, a more positive attitude, to be a better friend, to be a better family member, to enjoy the little things in life, to glow up mentally and emotionally. I even have it written down as my “Lifetime Goals”.

Everyday was TRULY a battle with depression, but when I say a battle, I fucking mean it. What didn’t help was that I was at a job that worsened this depression. I knew that I needed to better ALL areas of my life. This year I lost weight, gained a healthier lifestyle, grew closer to the friends that were healthy for me, got rid of the ones that weren’t, and honestly, I matured greatly. 2019 was a true rough one for me, and I knew I NEEDED to get through it to make me a stronger person overall. I knew I had to push myself through all that life was throwing at me (which it threw a fucking lot, let me tell ya) and just simply get through it.

And that’s my advice: Push, and get through it. Because I knew that once I did, the great things would start happening. As cheesy or cliche as that sounds, the good and amazing things that happened for me were waiting at the end of all the madness.

TO END MY 2019 I:

Applied and got into UNK for my Master’s in School Counseling.

I realized that I was not going to move away from my family as I originally planned. Do you know how many times I applied for jobs outside of Nebraska? They didn’t turn out for various reasons, but I know for a FACT that they didn’t work out for a reason. I am meant to be here in Lincoln….for now at least! I opened my eyes and had to do a little “soul searching” and figure out a plan B. What could I see myself doing? What made me happy? What do I love in life? What am I interested in? And then it hit me. I really love kids, don’t love teaching though, but love being there for others. I love helping, listening, giving advice and guiding.

I also recognize that we NEED more counselors in this world. We need more SUPPORT for our kids! We need more GUIDANCE, and AWARENESS in our schools! I WANT to be that person! I want to make a difference. I want to roam and scout for the kids that separate themselves, who may be getting bullied, who are acting out, who have a hard home life, who just need someone. I desperately want to be the person who helps these growing kids, just how the counselor in my middle school helped me. And that’s how I knew…school counseling is my calling.

GOT A NEW JOB THAT I LOVE

To make this one simple, my old job was deteriorating my mental health. It was a dead end road. I loved my co-workers, but there was just nothing there for me, and it didn’t make me happy at all. I needed to find something that was going to take me to the next level in life. I needed something that I was going to actually look forward to, and was a POSITIVE impact on my life. And there it was, Nebraska Family Dentistry! Just like all my other jobs, it’s so random, but I’m always up for new things, and new challenges. This job has helped me in more ways than one.

GOT MY OWN APARTMENT

Honestly, this is probably something only I’m really excited about BUT it’s been a BIG impact on me, and it really was something that I needed. I’ve been so over roommates, and I’ve been dying for my own space. Ever since I’ve been single, I’ve been working on my independence. I truly love doing my own thing, having my own space, and not having to share anything with anyone. I have truly loved maturing, growing up, and working out life within myself.

This year has challenged me, and has pushed me to grow. I would seriously would not be here if a break up didn’t happen, and I was forced to look in the mirror and figure my shit out. I will always believe that everything is meant to happen. Although there have been so many struggles and obstacles within this year, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

These pictures were taken exactly a year a part. 12/15/18 to 12/15/19. The girl on the left was depressed, heart broken, and so lost. She had no idea what was coming, or what she was going to do.

The girl on the right has finally found her happiness, has found her way, and is FINALLY proud of all of her accomplishments, big and small.

Updates to come for 12/15/20!

22 Things I Learned At 22

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

It’s almost annoying how similar I am to my dad, but I just know this is something he would’ve done at my age. We’re both so similar in the fact that we 1. love to write, but 2. love to recollect our lessons and memories and express it in a form of advice for others.

Tonight is my last night of being 22. Again, much like my dad, I am very much a sentimental person, and I pretty much cry the night before every birthday, on every birthday, or both. But I just want to defend myself in saying that I know I’m not alone in the fact that I do this, and I’m not ashamed of valuing my life, and every milestone like a birthday. I’m a crier, ok?

So, yes, tonight I cried. And here’s how it happened. I got done at the gym, and thought to myself, “Ok, I’m going to play 22 by Taylor Swift for the last time, because it’s just not going to be the same tomorrow, or any day after.” So….on the way home from the gym, I cried while singing 22 by Taylor Swift. I’m laughing to myself right now just admitting this, but whatever, I don’t fucking care.

22 has been a HUGE year for me, and to be quite blunt: it was the worst year ever. Seriously! But there was just so much that happened within this year to be honest. It started off with a break up, then I graduated college. Back-to-back, those two events were so hard to take in. Then, here’s the hard part, I fell deeply depressed. SLOWLY overcame the depression. I traveled a lot, worked on my fitness and health, and lost weight. I’ve done so much, and learned so much in this year that I really want to share 22 things I’ve learned while being 22. I’ve learned so much about myself, people, and life. I’m not an expert, but I’m giving my two cents whether you like it or not. So, here’s 22 things I learned at 22.

  1. I was broken up with, and it was a hard time for me. I think what I learned most is: no matter how good you are to someone, or think you are, sometimes it’s just not enough. And you have to accept the reality that it’s just not meant to be, and even though it is so hard, you have to learn to move on. Honestly, it works out for the best in the end, because if we were supposed to be together, we would be. I’m accepting of this, and I’ve happily moved on. I think I really just needed to learn a lot of lessons about that relationship, and about myself. Now that I have, I can use this knowledge for the next one!
  2. That being said…no matter how nice/ good you are to someone, they’ll still do/ say horrible things. My lesson is: these people are showing you their true colors, so believe the reality of what they show you, and let those people go. No need to try to be the “bigger person” anymore. I honestly just act like they don’t exist and go about my day. If they want to flat out disrespect you, then they should not get any ounce of your attention. It’s hard at first, but it’s the truth.
  3. Now onto friends. This year my circle grew a little smaller….and I’m actually very happy this happened! In life, you just have to weed out the bad ones. That can honestly be applied to almost anything, but in this lesson, number 3, I’m applying it to friends. Life is so hard as it is, and friends are supposed to be there for support or to make you laugh. If they’re not being a good friend to me, then I give them the good ole Gabby boot, and so should you! Who cares if your circle shrank, or you have no one. FIND YOUR PEOPLE! My friends know me for me, and they know how I am, and guess what? They still love me for it. Anyone else who doesn’t can honestly kiss my ass.
  4. I’ve only been preaching this one for MONTHS, but: SELF-LOVE. I grew sooooo much self love for myself this year! I grew confidence and happiness, and it’s all because I like how I am, and I like who I am, and I think everyone should feel this way about themselves. And honestly, a breakup will teach you just that. You have to re-find your worth, and rediscover your identity. That was my hardest challenge, and once I got there, I flourished and transformed. Why do you think I got butterflies tatted on me for goodness sake? This bitch has flourished and changed, and I could not be more proud of myself.
  5. Family. You know, when I was in a relationship, I didn’t see my family as much. I will never do that again. My family is my everything, my backbone, my biggest cheering section, and no one’s got me like they do. My parents have helped me through so many things, and I just seriously will never take them for granted. Lesson learned: appreciate your fam.
  6. Family IS everything, but not all family. I’ve learned that I don’t have to respect someone just because we’re blood. Sounds harsh, right? Not everyone may agree, but I just don’t think I need to love someone automatically when our relationship is non-existent. So, it’s ok to not love all of your family. Just saying.
  7. Life is hard, but an inch forward is an inch forward. This year I was so confused about life. I struggled for so long if I wanted to move or not, or what career I wanted to pursue. It was really challenging to figure out, because I sincerely had no clue what I wanted to do, but I knew in order to grow financially or career wise, I had to figure it out! But! I! Couldn’t! But then eventually I did!
  8. I learned how rewarding it is to eat healthy, to work out consistently, and to get a good nights sleep the majority of the time. I will never go back to my old habits, and I’m so glad I turned my health around. This year has shown me what getting into a good healthy routine can do for you and your health.
  9. Ok. I learned, even though it’s so annoying, that it’s ok to miss someone. It’s ok to miss someone even though they are 100% completely undeserving of it. It doesn’t mean I’ll reach out, or say hi, because I won’t. But I love with my whole heart, and I realized it’s ok to miss someone, because at one point, they were a big part of my life, and I can’t discount that. So, it’s ok to miss someone, just don’t reflect too much, because that’ll just get ya down and blue sister.
  10. This year I learned to value the little things. Even if they’re the tiniest things, or put a temporary smile on your face, value it! I value my coffee, because I really do look forward to it. I value Sudoku, because it’s a nice little way to distract me from my anxiety, and I value The Office, because it’s the best show ever. Small things make a big difference, and you have to love the little things in life.
  11. Sometimes you have to work at a place that does not make you happy, because you’re still trying to figure life out. Most of 22, I didn’t have any sort of my life together, but what I did have was a job that paid the bills. I know sometimes we have to do something or work somewhere that doesn’t make us happy at all, but remind yourself it’s only temporary, and that it’s helping you build yourself. It’s helping you while you figure things out.
  12. This one is so simple, but wow I was not good at this before. Here it is: If someone is not giving you the time of day that you deserve, then YOU don’t give them the time of day. If someone isn’t giving you the effort that you are putting in, then YOU stop giving all your effort since it’s not being matched. Stop wasting your time on people who don’t deserve it! People should earn their way into your life, and they shouldn’t get an excuse for not putting in effort or attention. Shit needs to be equal. Do not under value yourself.
  13. I have never felt more alone, depressed, confused, and anxious more in this year than I have ever in my entire life. But, I have never learned more about myself than I have this year. I think we all have to go through some really tough things to truly understand ourselves. I was forced to figure shit out, and it was the biggest challenge ever, but it was the most rewarding. I’m so happy I’ve spent 22 working on me, and I think you have to do that alone. Or at least, it was best for me this way.
  14. Skin care. Skin care. Skin care.
  15. Do things for you from time to time. Order some clothes online, or go eat at that place you’re craving. This probably falls under self love, but I think we should treat ourselves way more often than what we do. I think we should make ourselves our number one priority, because only you are really stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. So I’m going to make myself happy.
  16. Travel more. Probably easier said than done, but I’ve traveled so much this year, and I’m so thankful for it. You really just learn so much more about yourself when you travel. You get to decide how you spend your days, where you want to eat, and what you miss and don’t miss. I hope I can travel as much at 23.
  17. Don’t let your guard down too fast. I unfortunately have done this one too many times, and it bites me in the ass every time. Stop it, Gabby! Fuck. But yeah, seriously, sometimes you just have to be a damn onion. Give them one layer at a time, hunny, and make sure they work for those layers!
  18. Don’t be afraid to be you and to show yourself though. I’m expressive and an over-sharer, and I’ll still post blogs about how I’m feeling, etc. and I won’t care if y’all read it or not. If you’ve made it this far: hello.
  19. DON’T LET PEOPLE KNOCK YOU DOWN!!! Fuck those people!!! You need to grow up and be courageous by putting your foot down and standing up for yourself. And honestly, I don’t care if it’s at work, to a stranger, an ex, or to a friend; you need to seriously stand up for yourself, because it’s your life and no one gets to boss you around!
  20. I’ve learned that even if my morals and beliefs don’t match up with someone else’s, then that does not mean there needs to be any disrespect or harsh feelings towards someone. You just accept what they believe, and you move on. My parents are 100% against tattoos, and I have 7, so they know about them, can hate them, and now move on. My body, my beliefs. Their bodies, their beliefs. We respectfully disagree about tattoos…and we move on. Plain and simple.
  21. I learned that I want to be a school counselor! So, I’m going to get my masters in school counseling! Yay!
  22. This one is so cliche, but some things are so hard to actually BELIEVE, but: honestly, everything is always going to work out. Life gets so hard, rough patches get long, but you just have to push forward. You. Have. To. Life is going to work out as it should, and you just have to keep working at being a better person, a happier person, and a more positive person. Have that faith that everything really is going to work out, but actually work on yourself too! Nothing fixes itself.

Thank you reading my 22 lessons that I gathered this year at 22. It’s been a tough, yet rewarding year for me, and although most of it was hard, I wouldn’t changed any of it. You shouldn’t change the tough parts, because they always lead you to the good ones.

Also, Happy 23rd Birthday to me!

This Season

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I once saw a friend post that another person’s season may be different than your own. You may look at them during a time where all is going well and falling into place. Their puzzle pieces were aligning and finding their place, all while your pieces may still be hidden or jumbled around. This is why you can’t compare your season with theirs, because your season may be one of healing and growth and learning. And it’s hard to tell a definitive way how you start and finish a season, but I’ve decided that today was the start of a new season for me.

This new season is conveniently falling on the first day of Fall and the start of Libra season, which is exactly the sign that I am. I guess I just mentally decided that this long, weird, and confusing chapter of mine needed to end. Although I’ve been trying to find my way, it’s really been a difficult time. Only the closest people to me have known about the bumps. But I’ve always been an open book. So,

This past season I was open and vulnerable with someone so undeserving of it, and I learned that you cannot jump in with both feet before you test out the water. I am way too caring for people who do no reciprocate or even ask how I’m doing/ I do not need to be patient with someone unless I am shown a reason to be. I am continuously on the fence about wanting to move away, but then don’t want to be away from my family. I want to go to grad school, but am not sure if I should. I think I want to become a middle school counselor, but then I think about journalism.

Andddd cue what my therapist would say: focus on one thing at a time.

Easier said than done with someone with anxiety and constant overthinking.

This season

This season I need to figure some things out, but one thing at a time. As I do scroll on the multiple social media platforms and see others moved away, or starting a new career, or getting engaged, or getting married, or getting pregnant…that is their season right now, and this is my season. My season should be about me, about my life, about continuous growth, and becoming more of a better person. I will figure out a path for my future. I will put my foot down to people who are not going to help my journey. I will make this season better than the last.

I reflect a lot, all the time actually, and I’ve made tremendous strides that I think my younger self would be proud of. I have overcome some of the hardest things, mentally and emotionally, and at the end of the day, I know I’m going to be ok. This season is going to better, more enriching, more encouraging, and more rewarding. This headspace is one that is open and positive and ready for continuous progress.

I hope you do not compare your season with others, because it’s your season. Make it what you will. Make your tree leaves change color, fall, and then grow new ones. Make your ice tough and thick but vulnerable at the touch of warmth. Make it rain all day long, but the next be sunny, with flowers growing and blooming. Make your season warm and prosperous, but then appreciate the cool breeze when it comes and goes.

Because it’s your season, you get to decide how and when it comes and goes.

Stop Questioning, And Start Trusting The Process

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22 has been such an enlightening and transformative year for me thus far. We never really know why certain situations are handed to us, but there’s always something to take away.

I think it’s so important to not look at situations you go through as negative, but just as lessons. We learn, we grow, and we mature. For me this year, it’s been a lesson to trust God’s process and what He has in store for me. I know that it’s hard to remind myself of this in the moment, but I know that it’s all building up to be something great. I know that this process will lead to an even stronger me. I don’t want to be a negative person. I don’t want to see every situation as bad or horrible. I don’t want to view myself as a victim. I want to guide myself through it, and find the pieces I can take away and learn from. Not only do you learn things about yourself, but you learn more about others as well. You learn to be more understanding, compassionate, and kind. You could be the one being dragged through the mud, but that doesn’t mean you should be the bitter one.

I work heavily on my future, and am continuously working to be a better person. I am working towards my goals and dreams, and can already tell that things are starting to come together….and it’s because I’ve never stopped trusting the process, or wondered why God was taking me through what he was taking me through. He has placed certain people in my life for either guidance and love or as lessons. I have learned not to question Him, but to thank Him for what He has given me. I have felt the pain of the lessons, but have found the peace and understanding in those lessons as well. He places everything in our lives for a reason. It is our duty to figure out if this is a lesson or a blessing. Every opportunity must be taken, and to be learned from. You never know how it’ll go if you do not take the opportunities He is providing.

We hold ourselves back from so many things, because we stop trusting the process and we start questioning everything. Trust, and grow. Believe that there is a reason someone pops into your life, believe that there is a reason this specific opportunity popped up and grab onto it. God does everything in the most perfect timing and it is not for us to question why He chooses to do it at a certain time. He knows what He is doing, so trust Him. Trust the beautiful process, because it all leads to something beautiful and amazing.

As much as I want to ask Him, “Why do I go through so many difficult obstacles? Why can’t the destination be here already? Why do a lot of things not work out when I want them to?” I just have to trust in the reasoning, and what I’m going to learn along the way. I think it’s so normal to feel the pity and the frustration and the disappointment, but just knowing there are amazing things coming, is worth the wait and worth going through the downfalls.

Persevering…even when it’s hard

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I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Living Your Best Life

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Right now I’m currently sitting on my bed, PJ’s already on, listening to nine minutes of nature sounds just so I can focus on writing this. I’m not the only one who listens to nature sounds while working on something, right?

I’m really excited to write this post only because it’s fun for me. Summer isn’t even over and I feel as if I’ve been living the best summer so far. You know that saying that Andy from The Office says,

I wish I knew last year was going to be part of my “good old days” before I left them, but this year it’s different. This time I’m very much aware of how great life is right now. These past few months I have been truly living the best days of my life so far. For you, you need to grasp onto this time and make it the best. You need to live fully, and start appreciating life NOW before you’re stuck in the future regretting how you wished you appreciated them more.

Before I share the incredibly fun things that I’ve done, I just want to state that living your best life is all about mentality. It doesn’t mean you have to travel to live your best life or do all these fancy, cool things, it just means having the best attitude towards life. It means feeling free from anything heavy wearing down on your heart and spirit. It means the heavy has been let go and you’re tackling a new and fun phase in life. It means embracing this amazing adventure we were given and making the best of it all.

Surround yourself with people who know how to make things fun. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and inspire you. Surround yourself with nature, your favorite hobbies, things you’re passionate about, etc.

Push yourself to do new things, even when it scares you. Do the things that make you happy, it could be the smallest thing or something you’ve always wanted to try.

What’s helping me live my best life? Quality family time. Girl time. Traveling. Doing different things. Being adventurous and spontaneous.

The pictures above represent the happiness I’ve been living and enduring, and the fun things I’ve been able to do recently. I have been living it up. I have let the hurt and pain of the past slip away and have been absorbing these amazing times I have been blessed to have. With being in Colorado in April, Missouri, Florida and Iowa just in June alone. I get to go to my first Sporting KC game in a couple of weeks. I’m going to Cardi B in late July, and to Alabama in September. People, living life happily is by finding joy in the upcoming events. Find things to look forward to. Travel A LOT. Go on weekend trips or to the lake. Be ADVENTUROUS and don’t let life not let you LIVE. We all have responsibilities, but what is life about if we’re not going to ENJOY it?

I am living my best life and I don’t care who knows it. Seven months ago was a hard and trying time, but now I am thriving. I embrace who I am, I’ve grown from the pain, I keep learning, and I keep living. Life is great and I can’t wait for the many fun adventures to come. What’s stopping you from living your best life?

My Fitness Journey

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Six months.

For six months I have changed the attitude and mentality I had about eating, exercising, and living life in general. For a while I stopped caring about what I was putting in my body. For a while I stopped caring about keeping my body healthy. I look back at what I looked like a year ago, and for myself, it is the biggest eye opener.

Pictures from 2018

I was still confident in myself, but I KNEW my clothes were starting to not fit. I remember freaking out on St. Patrick’s Day of 2018. I needed to run home to change, because what I brought to wear did NOT fit. I had a meltdown that night. I was slowing losing myself and losing my confidence. I look back with sadness that I didn’t care for my body, but I do not pity myself. It was my own fault.

But here I am now. Toned up and feeling so much like my old self.

I cut out eating junk AKA fast food. I still go out to eat, but not as often!! When I do go out, I definitely eat on the lighter side. I am so much more conscious about what I order. I stopped drinking pop, and only drink water when I go out. I eat at least two salads a day, because I love salad!! I make my own yogurt parfait in the mornings–cheaper and super healthy!

I go to the gym/ work out at least five times a week. Before I make ANY plans, I ask myself, “How can I fit in today’s workout first?” If you don’t prioritize your fitness like this, then you will not be successful.

Being healthy IS a priority, especially if you’re trying to lose weight, or just be healthier in general. If you do not make it important, then you are setting yourself up for failure. It is just like a habit, and at first you’re going to hate it! You’re going to wonder why you aren’t seeing results. But here I am, six months into it, and I probably have only lost about 15 pounds. That’s not even that much, and I honestly haven’t even weighed myself. But it is a long process, and just like any commitment, you have to be in it for the long haul.

SHOW YOURSELF OFF!! Who cares!! Surely I don’t!

  1. It keeps you in check. If I put it out in the world that I am going to do something, then I’m pretty much forced to keep my word. I mean, I already can keep a commitment, but I like to put things out there. I like to make a statement. I’m just a very open person, some aren’t and that’s okay, but I like to keep myself accountable in this way.
  2. I’m proud of my progress. I’ll keep posting until it’s out of my system. I’m more shocked on how I let myself go, and feel super proud of myself for turning my life around. Be proud of yourself too. Be proud of your progress. Any progress IS PROGRESS!
  3. Who cares what people think or wonder why you post the things you do. There’s an unfollow button for a reason.
  • August 2018 –> May 2019
  • September 2018 –> June 2019

I actually love looking at the transformations, because it makes it more real for me. I remember those occasions and not realizing what I actually looked like. To some, yeah maybe they’re fine, but how I was just a year before…I looked totally different. See below.

October 2017 –> August 2018 –> May 2019

Hell, I’m sure it was the alcohol that did me in. Part of me does not regret letting loose a little bit. I really wanted to enjoy being 21. I actually do remember saying that I was fine with not being so strict about what I was eating and how much I drank. But now that I am back to being “strict”, and I realized how HARD it is to get back to where I used to be. It is so easy to gain, but those pounds do not shed easily. I’d rather be “strict”, than gain it all back in an instant.

I of course have my off days from the gym, my “cheat days” if you will. I love those days! I have my iced coffee pretty much everyday, because we are allowed to treat ourselves! But it’s a balance, and unfortunately it’s not an even balance. Working out and eating right needs to balance the “bad and unhealthy” items (even if those items are in small amounts). I do also want to point out, pretty is not about being thin, no no no, to me, being healthy is pretty. Love yourself, love the skin you’re in, but treat it well and be kind to your body and mind!

Independence- It takes a while to grasp sometimes

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

I can fully admit to myself now that I was not an independent person last year or anytime before. Of course I had periods where I was more independent than others, but not to the capacity where I am now. I think some of us really have a hard time figuring out that we don’t need others to make us happy. We don’t necessarily need people in our lives, but we want them. This concept comes easier to others, but for some of us (me) it takes awhile to really grasp and truly comprehend.

This year (I know I’ve mentioned this many times) I took a hard look at myself, and I really wish I had done it sooner. I took a look at myself and really focused in on what I wanted to work on.

I wanted to work on:

  1. Obviously being more independent. This was top on my list. I was forced to be alone, which is NOT a bad thing. I was put in a position where I NEEDED to work on this, and not for anyone else, but just for myself.
  2. I wanted to lose weight. I was very unhealthy with the food I put in my body, and how little I worked out. **I’m really proud of this one in particular because of how much I have really turned my life around.
  3. Becoming an even better friend. I was not a bad friend, but for awhile I was an absent friend. I wanted to work on being a more present and loving friend.

I have more to the list but I want to expand on number one.

In my last relationship, I was regretfully very dependent. I did not take time for myself. I didn’t give myself space away, and now looking back I honestly just shake my head. To how I was, to now….I’m so different in this aspect. I wish it didn’t take so long to figure this all out, but here we are. Sometimes it takes a huge event to happen in order for us to really get it…for us to really grasp what we need to work on.

Becoming independent has been such a rewarding lesson that I have learned and experienced. I was my own person before, but now I really am engaging in the woman I am. By that I mean, I am doing the things that make ME happy and I’m actually DOING instead of just saying I am my own person. Before I couldn’t be alone. But now I take space away from everyone, and take time to myself. I have my “me time” (I thoroughly enjoy my me time so I’m able to go workout or just lay in bed watching whatever.) I go on more trips, I apply more time into my hobbies, and I’ve finally grasped that I don’t need anyone to be happy, because I’m very very happy just being/ doing me and working on myself.

I seriously cannot explain why it took so long for me to figure this out, because some people are naturally very independent. I applaud those people, but some of them are so independent where they do not allow others in. For me, I needed to FULLY become my own person. I wish I could have been different in the past, but everything is a lesson, nothing is a mistake. All I can do from this point on is to stay on this path that I’m on, and embrace all the great things that come my way.

Be The Best Version of You, For YOU

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Even at the young age of 22 I have learned greatly about myself, life, people in general, what I want/ don’t want, and what I deserve. I still have so much to learn though. Although young, I do strongly believe that due to my experiences, my advice is valid.

It took me a few months to really realize why I was choosing to become the better version of myself. At first it started off trying to prove to someone what they were missing out on. To prove that “This is what you’re missing, now watch me grow”. Over time as I was growing mentally and choosing to be healthier all around, I knew that this was the start of the best version of myself. Over time my self love was coming back, I realized what is most important in my life, and have been thoroughly living my best life. Now that it’s been a few more months, I know that I am not growing inwardly and becoming a better me for anyone else but ME.

It’s silly to think I was growing to prove to someone else what they were missing, but how long does it have to take us to realize that we are not LIVING our lives for others, but we are LIVING for US? No one is going to stick around me for my whole life but ME. I am the only one who is going to be there for me at the end of each day. Of course I have my family and friends, but some days I am not going to be able to just run to a friend or my parents and ask for comfort.

The only person I’m going to have at each day is ME. So, I need to be the best me, for me. Read that again.

But let me admit something to you: I am not perfectly happy. I am still in this funk of confusion on what my next chapter in life will be: what career choice I’m going to pursue and where I want to move. It has not been easy figuring this all out, but while all this confusion is happening, it’s not going to stop me from living fully. My grand timing will come, I know I’ll figure it out, but I refuse to sit around and mope about it.

The past few months I have been planning, planning, PLANNING. I am planning out trips, soccer games, concerts, and throwing myself into my hobbies. I am finally realizing that I don’t want to live this fun, fulfilling life for anyone else, or need to prove anything. I’m going to enjoy my life and my time, the people in it and that’s all that really matters. I’ll always remind myself that whomever walks out of my life is missing out, because THIS Gabby is truly loving herself, her life and the people who have stayed.

Getting into this healthier and happier head space can be such a challenge! I have overcome so many mental barriers, and STILL battle with my inward insecurities.

  1. It all starts with surrounding yourself with people who ALSO want the best for you AND themselves. The individuals who CARE and WANT you to thrive are the only people you should be having any sort of relationship with!! Please understand this concept! How do you plan on growing if others are stagnant?
  2. Read positive prayers, posts, articles all day every day! Be inspired and stay inspired! Unfollow negative and unnecessary social media accounts and follow motivational and positive ones!
  3. Work out and eat healthy. It can be hard, but there aren’t any excuses. It helps your mental health just as much as your physical.
  4. Those days where you feel defeated, refer to #1 and go to those individuals for love and guidance. Reach out, reach out, REACH OUT if you need to!! There is no shame in needing an extra hand.
  5. Practice mental happiness. You need to tell yourself positive thoughts to believe positive thoughts. You need to tell yourself it’s going to be a great day, for it TO BE a great day!
  6. Slow but surely, start loving yourself. Look in that mirror and say out loud the things you love about yourself (personality or physically). No one is going to love you, as much as you do. And if you think you have someone who loves you more than you do, then you need to work on your self love girl. You need to be your own #1 fan.

Start being the best version of you, for you, and then you will attract all sorts of positive interactions, people, and experiences. This life is not meant to be lived wallowing. Live it. The Fuck. Up.

Thank you for coming to my talk.


Self love is the greatest middle finger of all time.

Two-way street vs. A white dotted line

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

One of the many things I’ve learned this year is that not all relationships are a two-way street. I’ve realized that there were some people that I would put effort into seeing, but it wouldn’t be reciprocated. I think another thing I became aware of is that, especially after a difficult time in your life, you really realize who your true friends are. I noticed who my friends were due to circumstance, and who actually wanted to be apart of my life.

Growing up, and maturing more as an adult, you notice a lot of different things. You realize who to put your effort into, and who you start to pull away from. It’s definitely a hard realization to have when you start losing a few friends, but just like any other person in your life, you have to think to yourself, “If they’re not putting in effort to spend time with me, then why am I wasting my time putting effort into them?” It’s not fair to yourself to stay in a one-way relationship. All relationships, with everyone in your life, should be a two-way street. When driving, the difference between a yellow dotted line and a white dotted line are very significant, and it should be the same way in your personal relationships. Be aware of the color of the line in your relationships, and act accordingly.

At this point in our lives, it’s so unnecessary to waste time and energy for people who don’t put in the same love and effort as I do. I’m sorry, but I only have the energy for the genuine friends in my life. This year has taught me so much about myself, and one of those things is that my time is valuable, and I really don’t feel like giving out my energy to those who don’t deserve it anymore.

I think another thing we learn to accept as we age is that friends dwindle, and that’s okay. Some really are just temporary, and can leave fun memories from the times you had, but then there are those rare few that stick around for the long haul. The important factor is realizing who is temporary and who isn’t. Overall, it’s so important to value the time you have with each person. If I had known at those times that it would be my last time spending time with someone, I think I would have cherished it so much more.

At the end of the day, life is what it is. People come and go: they add memories and pain, and they teach us valuable (good or bad) lessons. Value the people who consciously decide to be in your life, and never let them go. Those are the individuals you should invest your time and effort into.