Two-way street vs. A white dotted line

On April 18, 2019April 18, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

One of the many things I’ve learned this year is that not all relationships are a two-way street. I’ve realized that there were some people that I would put effort into seeing, but it wouldn’t be reciprocated. I think another thing I became aware of is that, especially after a difficult time in your life, you really realize who your true friends are. I noticed who my friends were due to circumstance, and who actually wanted to be apart of my life.

Growing up, and maturing more as an adult, you notice a lot of different things. You realize who to put your effort into, and who you start to pull away from. It’s definitely a hard realization to have when you start losing a few friends, but just like any other person in your life, you have to think to yourself, “If they’re not putting in effort to spend time with me, then why am I wasting my time putting effort into them?” It’s not fair to yourself to stay in a one-way relationship. All relationships, with everyone in your life, should be a two-way street. When driving, the difference between a yellow dotted line and a white dotted line are very significant, and it should be the same way in your personal relationships. Be aware of the color of the line in your relationships, and act accordingly.

At this point in our lives, it’s so unnecessary to waste time and energy for people who don’t put in the same love and effort as I do. I’m sorry, but I only have the energy for the genuine friends in my life. This year has taught me so much about myself, and one of those things is that my time is valuable, and I really don’t feel like giving out my energy to those who don’t deserve it anymore.

I think another thing we learn to accept as we age is that friends dwindle, and that’s okay. Some really are just temporary, and can leave fun memories from the times you had, but then there are those rare few that stick around for the long haul. The important factor is realizing who is temporary and who isn’t. Overall, it’s so important to value the time you have with each person. If I had known at those times that it would be my last time spending time with someone, I think I would have cherished it so much more.

At the end of the day, life is what it is. People come and go: they add memories and pain, and they teach us valuable (good or bad) lessons. Value the people who consciously decide to be in your life, and never let them go. Those are the individuals you should invest your time and effort into.

Learn how to say “No”

On February 26, 2019February 26, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Learning how to say “no” is a lesson I’m definitely still trying to grasp. I never want to say “no” to hanging out with a friend, miss a chance to spend time with my family, or if someone needs a helping hand, but sometimes it can be overwhelming always saying “yes”.

Don’t get me wrong, I love filling up my free time! Especially with being single, I find myself ALWAYS busy doing something! Let’s face it, this could be considered a “good” problem to have, but not all the time. When the weekends arrive, I kid you not, I already have next week’s schedule filled up and planned, but sometimes I think “Wow, I wish I hadn’t said yes, I really just want to stay home.” And this is what I’m talking about. I don’t have to say “yes” to everything! We all have the right to say, “That sounds really fun, but I think I’m going to have to pass this time!”

Trust me, I know it can be hard to say “no” sometimes, especially if you’re a social butterfly like me that loves to do fun things, but even for the busy-bees, we have to learn to say “no” so we can have a day to ourselves, to do absolutely nothing, and wind down. I get stuck between wanting to be a good friend who tries to balance everyone, and someone who just wants to go home to do things I never have time to do. What I’m really bad about is 1. Saying yes to everything, but 2. Literally having a free day, but then someone asks to do something and then I say yes! I’ll think to myself, “Ok, that really does sound fun, but what the fuck, I should’ve said no.” Because some days, I just want to go work out, come home and watch Gilmore Girls while folding my laundry! How boring, yet relaxing, does that sound??

Balancing your friends and family is very important, but putting yourself IN THAT balance is equally as important! We must put ourselves first sometimes, and by sometimes I mean most of the time! This is the healthy living that I’ve been preaching about. It first starts with a positive mentality and good attitudes, but then taking the necessary actions of putting yourself in a healthy life and living that healthy lifestyle. I’m still actively working on this myself, and I’m learning everyday what I need to do that makes me happy, and what protects ME.

Moral of the story: We shouldn’t feel obligated to say “yes” to everything and everyone. In fact, we have every right to say “no”. For me, this is so much easier said than done, but we all deserve at least a couple of days to ourselves, to do whatever we want, and it all starts with saying “no”.

Why Disappointment Is The Worst Feeling Of All

On February 17, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Lately I’ve had my fair share of disappointments and disappointing others. It really is worse than anger or just sadness alone, because disappointment first starts off with a glimmer of hope, an excitement almost, but then the action happens, and then you’re left with sadness/ anger/ confusion/ and the feeling of being let down. Disappointment is a feeling that is harder to go away; you’re more frustrated with yourself, because you let yourself feel hope, only for it to be taken away.

I’m disappointed with myself because I let others get close enough where I let them disappoint me. I’m disappointed with how I let myself feel hope, only for it to be gone in a matter of seconds. I thought things would be fine, or that a person’s mind would change, but the thing with disappointment is, that it pairs greatly with expectations you had that were not met. Having expectations that do not pan out leads to the inevitable feeling of disappointment.

I’m disappointed with others and how they treat me. I know I’m not perfect, but I see the best in others. I feel the glimmer of hope of maybe a changed mindset or changed actions, but it left me hurt and disappointment and with a crushed heart. I guess it’s hard because you know how you are, and how people should treat you, but it’s never how it should be. People can be arrogant and they can be selfish. They don’t understand that the best and worst quality of a person is their heart, and when they have yours in the palm of their hand, it’s mistreated and taken advantage of.

Disappointment allows you to grow, but it unfortunately is the foundation of a guard you feel yourself start to put up. It teaches you a lesson, and serves as a reminder as to how good your heart is for having hope in the first place, but to also remind you that hoping can be dangerous. People will continuously disappoint you all your life, but you can only work on you and you not giving someone else that same feeling. Keep your heart big, but maybe keeping that guard up, to protect your heart, wouldn’t be such a bad idea either.

Everyone Deserves To Be Loved

On February 15, 2019February 15, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

There are people in this world that repress love in all forms. They will unintentionally, or intentionally, push away the ones that love them the most. There are multiple reasons why someone could be doing this. It could be stemmed from childhood memories, or how they grew up. Could be from previous relationships that did not end well. It could be because that person does not know how to love themselves firstly, and is having a hard time expressing a love to another. What I do know for certain though is: Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone.

You could be the kindest person, or one who views themselves as unlovable, but ultimately, whoever you are, you deserved to be loved. And that can be so scary. I know how it feels to feel unlovable. My first boyfriend made me feel invaluable and not special. He made me feel as though I couldn’t do better, but eventually I found my way and I moved on to someone else! Although I’m single now, I know I deserve the best kind of love there is, just like everyone else.

What genuinely makes me sad is when people push away the ones that love them the most. My recent ex pushed me away, for multiple reasons, but linking this post to another, you cannot control the decisions of others, so whatever is meant to be, will be. He still deserves the best kind of love, even if he pushes it away.

The thing is, we’re all scared of love. It pushes you to be vulnerable and to trust someone fully, and that could potentially lead to heartbreak. Personally, I feel very scared to love again. I know how it feels to break so gruesomely on the inside, and I never want to go through that again. I know how it feels to feel the worst kind of disappointment. I know how it feels to wonder why it didn’t work out, and why you weren’t enough. I know how it feels to feel every kind of sadness there is. Honestly, I’m not looking forward to opening myself up to someone new, or to “start over”. It scares the shit out of me actually. And secretly, I don’t want to do it. It’s not like I’m searching anyway; I’m more focused on working on myself to be honest, but when I do run into a new potential love– I know it’s going to scare me. But here I am, reminding myself just as I am reminding you: we all deserve the best and the most pure kind of love there is. A love that does not fail. A love that is full of happiness, sadness, trust, laughter, friendship, strength, and everything else there is that love provides. It will not be perfect, but it will be everything we need. It will be worth the wait..and guess what? When it finally does come, we’ll deserve it!

Living With The Decisions You Make

On February 10, 2019February 10, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Sometimes it’s really hard to sit back and watch people make the decisions they make, and not want to slap them upside the head. Sometimes I look back at myself from just a few years ago and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Life is so weird in that way where you just go with the flow due to the decisions you make. Just one decision can alter our world, and we have to live with it.

There’s a few people in mind where I wonder if they had chosen differently, would I still be in their life today? Or if they just saw things from my point of view, would they choose differently? I could ponder all day how different life would be if the people in my life had chosen differently, but what I know for sure is, at the end of the day, I don’t have to live with those decisions: they do.

As humans, we are full-on curious about everything, and we question everything as we should. But there are things we cannot control, and one of those things are other people’s decisions. We can try to persuade, and nudge someone in a specific direction, but if it’s not the decision you had hoped them to make, you have to live with it, just like they do, for the rest of your life. We can’t always get what we want, but we live with it, and we move forward.

Personally, I hate to see people leave my life, especially when I strongly feel like our business on this earth isn’t done. If someone does not want to be in my life, then I need to accept that. It was their decision, and that is something THEY will have to live with in their heart, for the rest of their life. Sitting back is hard when you want to slap that person and say, “What are you doing??” But guilt is real, and one day people do realize the mistakes they had made. Unfortunately, it just might take awhile.

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”

Something I regret is losing a friend, because I kept a bad friend stay in my life. She advised me that this other friend was negative and mean, and just plain unhealthy for me. And she was right, and now both of them are not in my life anymore. I had lost a great friend due to the fact that I decided to keep someone close, whom I shouldn’t have. This is something I regret and will live with forever.

But the last thing I am going to say about this is: if you do realize you’ve made a mistake, then do not let pride hold you back from reaching out and trying to undo what you did. You never know if that person will welcome you back with open arms, or it might take a little barrier to get back to where things were, or it just might be too late as well. You never know, but you won’t know unless you make that decision to try. Because at the end of the day, it’s your life, and you have to live with what you’ve decided. Will you regret it?

Don’t degrade yourself while lifting others up

On February 7, 2019February 7, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

This one is a big one for me, and it actually makes me really sad to see it happen. Time and time again I’ll see women comment on other women’s posts or pictures with things such as, “I could never do that, good job!” or “See, this picture proves why I never want to stand next to you.”

NO NO NO NO, AND FUCK NO

I’m sorry, but I detest seeing this! If it’s a comment on one of my posts, a friend’s, or just someone else’s on social media, it makes me cringe! Do NOT tear yourself down (EVEN IF IT IS UNINTENTIONAL) to lift others up!!

“I could never do that, good job!” — who the hell said you couldn’t?? Yes you can! You can do anything!

“See, this picture proves why I never want to stand next to you. ” — I’m sorry, what? Are you degrading yourself to lift me up? Please don’t, because that’s not woman empowerment! Own yourself girl, you’re stunning!

“I’m gonna put my body first
And love me so hard ’til it hurts.” Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld

I, and no one, will take the compliment, because no one wants to see someone put themselves down! Maybe I see it wrong, but I think we are all so special, so wonderfully talented, and so uniquely beautiful. Please re-think what you comment, and I know it’s coming from a good heart, but you have to love yourself. In order to give and spread love, please start with yourself. I am such an advocate for self-love, and I want us ALL (men and women) to really grasp this concept!

“Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else
(Hey)
Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else
(I love me)” Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld

WE ALL HAVE FLAWS. WE ALL HAVE THINGS WE NEED TO WORK ON. BUT DO NOT TEAR YOURSELF DOWN, WHILE TRYING TO LIFT OTHERS UP. That’s not how any of this works!!