Persevering…even when it’s hard

I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Why Disappointment Is The Worst Feeling Of All

Lately I’ve had my fair share of disappointments and disappointing others. It really is worse than anger or just sadness alone, because disappointment first starts off with a glimmer of hope, an excitement almost, but then the action happens, and then you’re left with sadness/ anger/ confusion/ and the feeling of being let down. Disappointment is a feeling that is harder to go away; you’re more frustrated with yourself, because you let yourself feel hope, only for it to be taken away.

I’m disappointed with myself because I let others get close enough where I let them disappoint me. I’m disappointed with how I let myself feel hope, only for it to be gone in a matter of seconds. I thought things would be fine, or that a person’s mind would change, but the thing with disappointment is, that it pairs greatly with expectations you had that were not met. Having expectations that do not pan out leads to the inevitable feeling of disappointment.

I’m disappointed with others and how they treat me. I know I’m not perfect, but I see the best in others. I feel the glimmer of hope of maybe a changed mindset or changed actions, but it left me hurt and disappointment and with a crushed heart. I guess it’s hard because you know how you are, and how people should treat you, but it’s never how it should be. People can be arrogant and they can be selfish. They don’t understand that the best and worst quality of a person is their heart, and when they have yours in the palm of their hand, it’s mistreated and taken advantage of.

Disappointment allows you to grow, but it unfortunately is the foundation of a guard you feel yourself start to put up. It teaches you a lesson, and serves as a reminder as to how good your heart is for having hope in the first place, but to also remind you that hoping can be dangerous. People will continuously disappoint you all your life, but you can only work on you and you not giving someone else that same feeling. Keep your heart big, but maybe keeping that guard up, to protect your heart, wouldn’t be such a bad idea either.