Tag: inspiration

The Girl On The Left

On By gabriellestroup1 Comment

On 12/15/18 I graduated from UNL with my Bachelor’s. I was the first ever person on my dad’s side to graduate with a degree. This day was very special, and just like any grad, I was so proud of myself of what I had just accomplished.

As much as I’d love to say that I was as happy as I looked in this picture, it would be a complete lie. Don’t get me wrong, I was proud, excited, and beyond overwhelmed by this accomplishment, but the happiness I should’ve been feeling was masked by depression, fear, and a broken heart.

I remember celebrating with my family afterwards and just not being able to get to the happiness level I so desperately wanted to be at. I knew in my head that I needed to put the sadness and depression away for just one day, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t go away. I remember being so frustrated with how much this sadness in my life affected me. I was so mad that a stupid broken heart was stopping me from enjoying MY day. And honestly, the following months were followed by the same broken feeling.

At the beginning of this year I did everything I could to change all the areas of my life. I wanted a healthier lifestyle, a more positive attitude, to be a better friend, to be a better family member, to enjoy the little things in life, to glow up mentally and emotionally. I even have it written down as my “Lifetime Goals”.

Everyday was TRULY a battle with depression, but when I say a battle, I fucking mean it. What didn’t help was that I was at a job that worsened this depression. I knew that I needed to better ALL areas of my life. This year I lost weight, gained a healthier lifestyle, grew closer to the friends that were healthy for me, got rid of the ones that weren’t, and honestly, I matured greatly. 2019 was a true rough one for me, and I knew I NEEDED to get through it to make me a stronger person overall. I knew I had to push myself through all that life was throwing at me (which it threw a fucking lot, let me tell ya) and just simply get through it.

And that’s my advice: Push, and get through it. Because I knew that once I did, the great things would start happening. As cheesy or cliche as that sounds, the good and amazing things that happened for me were waiting at the end of all the madness.

TO END MY 2019 I:

Applied and got into UNK for my Master’s in School Counseling.

I realized that I was not going to move away from my family as I originally planned. Do you know how many times I applied for jobs outside of Nebraska? They didn’t turn out for various reasons, but I know for a FACT that they didn’t work out for a reason. I am meant to be here in Lincoln….for now at least! I opened my eyes and had to do a little “soul searching” and figure out a plan B. What could I see myself doing? What made me happy? What do I love in life? What am I interested in? And then it hit me. I really love kids, don’t love teaching though, but love being there for others. I love helping, listening, giving advice and guiding.

I also recognize that we NEED more counselors in this world. We need more SUPPORT for our kids! We need more GUIDANCE, and AWARENESS in our schools! I WANT to be that person! I want to make a difference. I want to roam and scout for the kids that separate themselves, who may be getting bullied, who are acting out, who have a hard home life, who just need someone. I desperately want to be the person who helps these growing kids, just how the counselor in my middle school helped me. And that’s how I knew…school counseling is my calling.

GOT A NEW JOB THAT I LOVE

To make this one simple, my old job was deteriorating my mental health. It was a dead end road. I loved my co-workers, but there was just nothing there for me, and it didn’t make me happy at all. I needed to find something that was going to take me to the next level in life. I needed something that I was going to actually look forward to, and was a POSITIVE impact on my life. And there it was, Nebraska Family Dentistry! Just like all my other jobs, it’s so random, but I’m always up for new things, and new challenges. This job has helped me in more ways than one.

GOT MY OWN APARTMENT

Honestly, this is probably something only I’m really excited about BUT it’s been a BIG impact on me, and it really was something that I needed. I’ve been so over roommates, and I’ve been dying for my own space. Ever since I’ve been single, I’ve been working on my independence. I truly love doing my own thing, having my own space, and not having to share anything with anyone. I have truly loved maturing, growing up, and working out life within myself.

This year has challenged me, and has pushed me to grow. I would seriously would not be here if a break up didn’t happen, and I was forced to look in the mirror and figure my shit out. I will always believe that everything is meant to happen. Although there have been so many struggles and obstacles within this year, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

These pictures were taken exactly a year a part. 12/15/18 to 12/15/19. The girl on the left was depressed, heart broken, and so lost. She had no idea what was coming, or what she was going to do.

The girl on the right has finally found her happiness, has found her way, and is FINALLY proud of all of her accomplishments, big and small.

Updates to come for 12/15/20!

Persevering…even when it’s hard

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Give Yourself A Break- You’re Doing The Best You Can

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Some days I am at a lose of what my next chapter will be. Right now I’m in the awkward phase where I’m in between two chapters, trying to figure out my transition. To be honest, it all comes down to me building the courage to move forward and to start writing the next page.

Day after day I think about moving away and finally transitioning to the career field I’ve been waiting for and wanting to be in. The concept of moving away is what I want, but then I think about all that I am leaving behind and then the concept loses its beauty just a bit. But moving away is what I need to do to fulfill this desire I have been working for, to be in a field that I actually love. My obstacle at the moment is breaking the barrier of fear and just going for it; as scary as it is to leave all I know and all my memories behind, it’s just something I need to do.

But what I need to remember until then is that, even though I feel like I’m wasting time and not working towards anything, I actually am doing the best I can in this given moment. I haven’t given up on my dream, and the dream isn’t going to expire anytime soon. I think our biggest flaw as humans is that we think just because something hasn’t happened yet, you’re not doing the best you can or not working hard enough. There are days where we probably could do more, but if we let our dream die, THEN we have failed. Until then, we haven’t failed at all.

Our worst critic is ourselves, but we can also be our biggest fan. Our mentalities control our actions, and if we learn to change our mentalities from less critical to more optimistic, we can thrive so much better. The world we live in supplies so much pressure in life as it is, we don’t need our own selves to add anymore. This doesn’t mean to not push yourself or to not try as hard, but to remember that it’s okay to not be exactly where you thought you would be, and it’s okay to fail sometimes, it’s okay to be disappointed or to not always be the best. But it’s not okay to give up or provide excuse after excuse on why you’re procrastinating. Life isn’t going to wait for us to finally decide when we’re ready to leap, but it will provide us with endless possibilities and opportunities. Take them!

Give yourself a break- you’re doing the best you can, but don’t let that be your excuse a year from now. Keep moving forward and working hard; God has big plans for your life, don’t let them slip away.

Living With The Decisions You Make

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Sometimes it’s really hard to sit back and watch people make the decisions they make, and not want to slap them upside the head. Sometimes I look back at myself from just a few years ago and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Life is so weird in that way where you just go with the flow due to the decisions you make. Just one decision can alter our world, and we have to live with it.

There’s a few people in mind where I wonder if they had chosen differently, would I still be in their life today? Or if they just saw things from my point of view, would they choose differently? I could ponder all day how different life would be if the people in my life had chosen differently, but what I know for sure is, at the end of the day, I don’t have to live with those decisions: they do.

As humans, we are full-on curious about everything, and we question everything as we should. But there are things we cannot control, and one of those things are other people’s decisions. We can try to persuade, and nudge someone in a specific direction, but if it’s not the decision you had hoped them to make, you have to live with it, just like they do, for the rest of your life. We can’t always get what we want, but we live with it, and we move forward.

Personally, I hate to see people leave my life, especially when I strongly feel like our business on this earth isn’t done. If someone does not want to be in my life, then I need to accept that. It was their decision, and that is something THEY will have to live with in their heart, for the rest of their life. Sitting back is hard when you want to slap that person and say, “What are you doing??” But guilt is real, and one day people do realize the mistakes they had made. Unfortunately, it just might take awhile.

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”

Something I regret is losing a friend, because I kept a bad friend stay in my life. She advised me that this other friend was negative and mean, and just plain unhealthy for me. And she was right, and now both of them are not in my life anymore. I had lost a great friend due to the fact that I decided to keep someone close, whom I shouldn’t have. This is something I regret and will live with forever.

But the last thing I am going to say about this is: if you do realize you’ve made a mistake, then do not let pride hold you back from reaching out and trying to undo what you did. You never know if that person will welcome you back with open arms, or it might take a little barrier to get back to where things were, or it just might be too late as well. You never know, but you won’t know unless you make that decision to try. Because at the end of the day, it’s your life, and you have to live with what you’ve decided. Will you regret it?

We’re All In This Together

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Somewhere along the line women started bashing other women and vice versa with men. Secretly we all have gotten jealous and proceeded to say a horrible comment, such as, “Ugh, I hate how pretty she is.” ,or “This freakin’ bitch is so skinny, what the fuck.” (Or maybe these are just my thoughts, but I know I’m not the only one…)

Is there a reason we need to inflict insults on someone, even if its just to a friend, or think a certain way about them just because they have something you don’t have? Jealousy is not cute, and it’s something even I need to remember. It’s something I need to learn in my day-to-day life, and in my relationships. We should not have this notion in our head where we feel some sort of negative way about someone just because of their looks or how smart they are or any cool thing about them. We all really need to start learning to lift everyone up, just because! So what if she’s pretty? Who cares how skinny she is! That’s awesome if he is smart! Remind yourself to not be jealous of someone for what they have, look like, or act. Instead, just spread love and good vibes. I know I sound hippie-ish but seriously. Instead of the negative comments, how about, “Yeah she is really pretty!” or “She is skinny, good for her for being healthy!”

We need to end the the pattern of bashing each other, and know that we are all in life together. The same girl who you think is GORGEOUS, why don’t you tell her? If you think someone is super smart and intelligent? Holy shit, maybe tell them! It takes nothing to say good words, people! We are all on this earth together, and it is time to end the hate, end the shit talking, and start putting love and kindness out there. And you have no idea what that compliment might do for someone. Maybe that “beautiful” woman felt super insecure that day. I’m not saying we’re only jealous of each other’s looks, but I know how women are, and I know that we sometimes judge a women right away from what she looks like to how she talks. We really can be bitchy!

I have been getting compliments left and right about this blog, and the good words I have been receiving have been SO validating. Although I started this blog not caring who read it, and what people thought, it really is still so nice to hear the good words from everyone. So here I am, saying thank you so much for taking the time to tell me, and for lifting me up! So let’s starting doing that for everyone! Don’t hold back your compliments! Share them, and spread every ounce of positivity you have, because holy shit this world needs it, and we need to share it like a wildfire in California.

Our mentalities start with us, and we need to correct them if they are wrong. That is where we need to first start with self-reflecting. Ask yourself, am I like this? Do I do that? Even unintentionally? And then correct yourself in those moments of jealous-judging. Start correcting your friends too, but in a nice way!!! Let’s help others as we help ourselves, because we are all in this together. We are all here to help others out, just as they have done the same to us. Instead of spreading mean words, let’s guide our friends and guide ourselves to a more positive and healthier lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle starts with your mind first. Healthy mind = healthy life!

Don’t degrade yourself while lifting others up

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This one is a big one for me, and it actually makes me really sad to see it happen. Time and time again I’ll see women comment on other women’s posts or pictures with things such as, “I could never do that, good job!” or “See, this picture proves why I never want to stand next to you.”

NO NO NO NO, AND FUCK NO

I’m sorry, but I detest seeing this! If it’s a comment on one of my posts, a friend’s, or just someone else’s on social media, it makes me cringe! Do NOT tear yourself down (EVEN IF IT IS UNINTENTIONAL) to lift others up!!

“I could never do that, good job!” — who the hell said you couldn’t?? Yes you can! You can do anything!

“See, this picture proves why I never want to stand next to you. ” — I’m sorry, what? Are you degrading yourself to lift me up? Please don’t, because that’s not woman empowerment! Own yourself girl, you’re stunning!


“I’m gonna put my body first
And love me so hard ’til it hurts.” Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld

I, and no one, will take the compliment, because no one wants to see someone put themselves down! Maybe I see it wrong, but I think we are all so special, so wonderfully talented, and so uniquely beautiful. Please re-think what you comment, and I know it’s coming from a good heart, but you have to love yourself. In order to give and spread love, please start with yourself. I am such an advocate for self-love, and I want us ALL (men and women) to really grasp this concept!


“Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else
(Hey)
Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else
(I love me)” Love Myself – Hailee Steinfeld

WE ALL HAVE FLAWS. WE ALL HAVE THINGS WE NEED TO WORK ON. BUT DO NOT TEAR YOURSELF DOWN, WHILE TRYING TO LIFT OTHERS UP. That’s not how any of this works!!

Here are some of my beautiful friends, and a picture of me for fun 🙂

Perspective: the silver lining in every situation

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Take a minute to really understand and grasp the meaning behind these pictures. These two pictures are powerful, and should serve as daily reminders that there is always a silver lining behind every difficult situation.


“Baby, don’t you know, all o’them tears gon’ come and go. Baby you just gotta make up your mind that every little thing is gonna be alright.” Be Alright- Ariana Grande

As creatures of habit, and ones that tend to find little things to bitch about, it is important to start changing your perspective and mindset for the better. Behind every hard situation is something beautiful waiting to be revealed. Take a minute to think of something you have gone through, and now think of why you’re grateful that situation happened.

In 8th grade I went through severe depression. I started counseling, my dad called the principal to see if changing schools would be the best option, and no one understood what was going on. I was in a horrible rut. I cried every day, I had no appetite, I had no desire to go to school, I was confused about life and who I was. I was scared of everything, and it was a horrible horrible time in my life. For months I was like this. BUT the silver lining that came to light was that when I came out of my depression I turned into the most outgoing, goofy, more confident little lady. Looking back, I am so glad I had to go through that to find out who I was. Obviously I didn’t learn everything about myself, but it turned me into a confident girl, ready to take on challenges that did not scare her, and I am so proud of who I was and who I turned into. The flower picture above is what describes this situation most. I BLOOMED after my depression.

I have gone through three break ups. Three heart breaks that were devastating and horrible, where my first two boyfriends really fucked me up mentally and it was so so challenging to get through those. But I learned new things about relationships, myself, what I wanted out of a guy, and re-learned how amazing I was!

“It’s like something has to die to help you realize – damn I feel alive.” Alive – Kehlani


During the hard times, find the positives! I know its hard, trust me!! But once you focus on your mentality, and focus on having a healthier mentality, you are starting the journey to a more positive lifestyle and attitude! Becoming a more positive person takes practice! It’s not a switch that you can flip, but a mentality that takes time to form and deploy in your daily life.

So start practicing! And if you’re going through a hard time right now, please know that there is something beautiful and magical awaiting to be unfolded and discovered. I STRONGLY believe that everything happens for a reason, so please continue on working on being the happy, positive person that you can be, and then life will show you kindness and love back. God gives you what you need, and He shows you what you don’t need. He teaches us these beautiful lessons, and we HAVE to trust Him.

Today I Put Myself First

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I’ve been going through a harsh slump, and it’s really really fun. *rolling my eyes* Last night was pretty tough, and I could not quiet my mind. Tears were flowing, and I could not fall asleep for the life of me.


“Oh, you don’t know what sadness means
‘Til you’re too sad to fall asleep
One day I’ll be snoozing peacefully
But surely not today, surely not today”

Not Today -Alessia Cara

Today I did something I’ve never done before, and I chose to put myself over work. I came into work per usual, and at 9 am I was CRASHING. I was contemplating falling asleep at my desk (as if), and knew that it was going to be a rough eight hours if I didn’t do something. I was not about to get coffee, because that wasn’t going to solve this slump or my sleepiness. I decided to go home and sleep for a couple of hours. Yep. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re maybe judging me right now. “Why didn’t you just power through?”,or “You can’t just do that whenever you feel like it.” WELL DUH.

Let me make it clear: I don’t do this. I never want to lose hours at work, and when I was in school, I never wanted to be in class because I knew I could have been making money. I LOVE working and getting that bread. BUT I know myself , I know my body, I know what I’ve been going through these past couple of days, and when your body speaks, YOU LISTEN. So yes, I went home, took a much-needed two hour nap, and you know what? I woke up in a much better mood. My slumpiness was still hovering over my head, but I felt so much better. I felt more prepared to finish my day, and to head back to work. I probably won’t do that anytime soon, but I’m really glad I did it.

Today I put myself first. We cannot always choose work over ourselves, or always choose others over us, etc. Sometimes, we need to recognize our body and our feelings and make the decision to be a little selfish.

Today I put myself first, and it was the best decision I made all day. Choose YOURSELF sometimes, because no one else is going to do it for you?

I’m too good to you

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If I could make this blog a little more like MySpace, I would have ‘Too Good’ by drake ft. Rihanna play as you read this post. Breaking down, and closely listening to the lyrics, it hits home all too well. My whole life I’ve felt unappreciated by various individuals: family, friends, ex-boyfriends, etc. It’s been a familiar and exhausting routine where I do all that I can to be the best version of myself for someone, because that’s just who I am, and I end up being the one who gets hurt. That totally makes sense!

I look back at the various relationships I’ve had during my life and recognize that I’m just too damn nice. This time around, and what I’ve been realizing these past couple of months, I’m done doing all that I can if the energy is NOT reciprocated. I’m 22 years old and my kindness has been taken advantage of, and that makes me want to kick someone’s ass. I look back at some people and think maybe it’s good they’re no longer in my life. YESTERDAY I’m asking God why he has put me through the pain that I’m going through, but TODAY I know why.

Today is about self-reflection, and as always, moving forward. I can look back and confidently say that I did the best I could, I was the best friend I could be, I was a damn good girlfriend, and I can keep living with a smile on my face. At the end of the day, I’m NOT the one with the regrets, but the one who can weed through the negative ones, to find the genuine ones, and for that is one reason why I smile today.

 

So recognize the real ones, and appreciate them, and when you realize who is good for you, and who isn’t- well life gets a little more simple then.