Tag: inspiring

The Girl On The Left

On By gabriellestroup1 Comment

On 12/15/18 I graduated from UNL with my Bachelor’s. I was the first ever person on my dad’s side to graduate with a degree. This day was very special, and just like any grad, I was so proud of myself of what I had just accomplished.

As much as I’d love to say that I was as happy as I looked in this picture, it would be a complete lie. Don’t get me wrong, I was proud, excited, and beyond overwhelmed by this accomplishment, but the happiness I should’ve been feeling was masked by depression, fear, and a broken heart.

I remember celebrating with my family afterwards and just not being able to get to the happiness level I so desperately wanted to be at. I knew in my head that I needed to put the sadness and depression away for just one day, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t go away. I remember being so frustrated with how much this sadness in my life affected me. I was so mad that a stupid broken heart was stopping me from enjoying MY day. And honestly, the following months were followed by the same broken feeling.

At the beginning of this year I did everything I could to change all the areas of my life. I wanted a healthier lifestyle, a more positive attitude, to be a better friend, to be a better family member, to enjoy the little things in life, to glow up mentally and emotionally. I even have it written down as my “Lifetime Goals”.

Everyday was TRULY a battle with depression, but when I say a battle, I fucking mean it. What didn’t help was that I was at a job that worsened this depression. I knew that I needed to better ALL areas of my life. This year I lost weight, gained a healthier lifestyle, grew closer to the friends that were healthy for me, got rid of the ones that weren’t, and honestly, I matured greatly. 2019 was a true rough one for me, and I knew I NEEDED to get through it to make me a stronger person overall. I knew I had to push myself through all that life was throwing at me (which it threw a fucking lot, let me tell ya) and just simply get through it.

And that’s my advice: Push, and get through it. Because I knew that once I did, the great things would start happening. As cheesy or cliche as that sounds, the good and amazing things that happened for me were waiting at the end of all the madness.

TO END MY 2019 I:

Applied and got into UNK for my Master’s in School Counseling.

I realized that I was not going to move away from my family as I originally planned. Do you know how many times I applied for jobs outside of Nebraska? They didn’t turn out for various reasons, but I know for a FACT that they didn’t work out for a reason. I am meant to be here in Lincoln….for now at least! I opened my eyes and had to do a little “soul searching” and figure out a plan B. What could I see myself doing? What made me happy? What do I love in life? What am I interested in? And then it hit me. I really love kids, don’t love teaching though, but love being there for others. I love helping, listening, giving advice and guiding.

I also recognize that we NEED more counselors in this world. We need more SUPPORT for our kids! We need more GUIDANCE, and AWARENESS in our schools! I WANT to be that person! I want to make a difference. I want to roam and scout for the kids that separate themselves, who may be getting bullied, who are acting out, who have a hard home life, who just need someone. I desperately want to be the person who helps these growing kids, just how the counselor in my middle school helped me. And that’s how I knew…school counseling is my calling.

GOT A NEW JOB THAT I LOVE

To make this one simple, my old job was deteriorating my mental health. It was a dead end road. I loved my co-workers, but there was just nothing there for me, and it didn’t make me happy at all. I needed to find something that was going to take me to the next level in life. I needed something that I was going to actually look forward to, and was a POSITIVE impact on my life. And there it was, Nebraska Family Dentistry! Just like all my other jobs, it’s so random, but I’m always up for new things, and new challenges. This job has helped me in more ways than one.

GOT MY OWN APARTMENT

Honestly, this is probably something only I’m really excited about BUT it’s been a BIG impact on me, and it really was something that I needed. I’ve been so over roommates, and I’ve been dying for my own space. Ever since I’ve been single, I’ve been working on my independence. I truly love doing my own thing, having my own space, and not having to share anything with anyone. I have truly loved maturing, growing up, and working out life within myself.

This year has challenged me, and has pushed me to grow. I would seriously would not be here if a break up didn’t happen, and I was forced to look in the mirror and figure my shit out. I will always believe that everything is meant to happen. Although there have been so many struggles and obstacles within this year, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

These pictures were taken exactly a year a part. 12/15/18 to 12/15/19. The girl on the left was depressed, heart broken, and so lost. She had no idea what was coming, or what she was going to do.

The girl on the right has finally found her happiness, has found her way, and is FINALLY proud of all of her accomplishments, big and small.

Updates to come for 12/15/20!

Persevering…even when it’s hard

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Give Yourself A Break- You’re Doing The Best You Can

On By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Some days I am at a lose of what my next chapter will be. Right now I’m in the awkward phase where I’m in between two chapters, trying to figure out my transition. To be honest, it all comes down to me building the courage to move forward and to start writing the next page.

Day after day I think about moving away and finally transitioning to the career field I’ve been waiting for and wanting to be in. The concept of moving away is what I want, but then I think about all that I am leaving behind and then the concept loses its beauty just a bit. But moving away is what I need to do to fulfill this desire I have been working for, to be in a field that I actually love. My obstacle at the moment is breaking the barrier of fear and just going for it; as scary as it is to leave all I know and all my memories behind, it’s just something I need to do.

But what I need to remember until then is that, even though I feel like I’m wasting time and not working towards anything, I actually am doing the best I can in this given moment. I haven’t given up on my dream, and the dream isn’t going to expire anytime soon. I think our biggest flaw as humans is that we think just because something hasn’t happened yet, you’re not doing the best you can or not working hard enough. There are days where we probably could do more, but if we let our dream die, THEN we have failed. Until then, we haven’t failed at all.

Our worst critic is ourselves, but we can also be our biggest fan. Our mentalities control our actions, and if we learn to change our mentalities from less critical to more optimistic, we can thrive so much better. The world we live in supplies so much pressure in life as it is, we don’t need our own selves to add anymore. This doesn’t mean to not push yourself or to not try as hard, but to remember that it’s okay to not be exactly where you thought you would be, and it’s okay to fail sometimes, it’s okay to be disappointed or to not always be the best. But it’s not okay to give up or provide excuse after excuse on why you’re procrastinating. Life isn’t going to wait for us to finally decide when we’re ready to leap, but it will provide us with endless possibilities and opportunities. Take them!

Give yourself a break- you’re doing the best you can, but don’t let that be your excuse a year from now. Keep moving forward and working hard; God has big plans for your life, don’t let them slip away.