22 Things I Learned At 22

On October 3, 2019October 3, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

It’s almost annoying how similar I am to my dad, but I just know this is something he would’ve done at my age. We’re both so similar in the fact that we 1. love to write, but 2. love to recollect our lessons and memories and express it in a form of advice for others.

Tonight is my last night of being 22. Again, much like my dad, I am very much a sentimental person, and I pretty much cry the night before every birthday, on every birthday, or both. But I just want to defend myself in saying that I know I’m not alone in the fact that I do this, and I’m not ashamed of valuing my life, and every milestone like a birthday. I’m a crier, ok?

So, yes, tonight I cried. And here’s how it happened. I got done at the gym, and thought to myself, “Ok, I’m going to play 22 by Taylor Swift for the last time, because it’s just not going to be the same tomorrow, or any day after.” So….on the way home from the gym, I cried while singing 22 by Taylor Swift. I’m laughing to myself right now just admitting this, but whatever, I don’t fucking care.

22 has been a HUGE year for me, and to be quite blunt: it was the worst year ever. Seriously! But there was just so much that happened within this year to be honest. It started off with a break up, then I graduated college. Back-to-back, those two events were so hard to take in. Then, here’s the hard part, I fell deeply depressed. SLOWLY overcame the depression. I traveled a lot, worked on my fitness and health, and lost weight. I’ve done so much, and learned so much in this year that I really want to share 22 things I’ve learned while being 22. I’ve learned so much about myself, people, and life. I’m not an expert, but I’m giving my two cents whether you like it or not. So, here’s 22 things I learned at 22.

I was broken up with, and it was a hard time for me. I think what I learned most is: no matter how good you are to someone, or think you are, sometimes it’s just not enough. And you have to accept the reality that it’s just not meant to be, and even though it is so hard, you have to learn to move on. Honestly, it works out for the best in the end, because if we were supposed to be together, we would be. I’m accepting of this, and I’ve happily moved on. I think I really just needed to learn a lot of lessons about that relationship, and about myself. Now that I have, I can use this knowledge for the next one!
That being said…no matter how nice/ good you are to someone, they’ll still do/ say horrible things. My lesson is: these people are showing you their true colors, so believe the reality of what they show you, and let those people go. No need to try to be the “bigger person” anymore. I honestly just act like they don’t exist and go about my day. If they want to flat out disrespect you, then they should not get any ounce of your attention. It’s hard at first, but it’s the truth.
Now onto friends. This year my circle grew a little smaller….and I’m actually very happy this happened! In life, you just have to weed out the bad ones. That can honestly be applied to almost anything, but in this lesson, number 3, I’m applying it to friends. Life is so hard as it is, and friends are supposed to be there for support or to make you laugh. If they’re not being a good friend to me, then I give them the good ole Gabby boot, and so should you! Who cares if your circle shrank, or you have no one. FIND YOUR PEOPLE! My friends know me for me, and they know how I am, and guess what? They still love me for it. Anyone else who doesn’t can honestly kiss my ass.
I’ve only been preaching this one for MONTHS, but: SELF-LOVE. I grew sooooo much self love for myself this year! I grew confidence and happiness, and it’s all because I like how I am, and I like who I am, and I think everyone should feel this way about themselves. And honestly, a breakup will teach you just that. You have to re-find your worth, and rediscover your identity. That was my hardest challenge, and once I got there, I flourished and transformed. Why do you think I got butterflies tatted on me for goodness sake? This bitch has flourished and changed, and I could not be more proud of myself.
Family. You know, when I was in a relationship, I didn’t see my family as much. I will never do that again. My family is my everything, my backbone, my biggest cheering section, and no one’s got me like they do. My parents have helped me through so many things, and I just seriously will never take them for granted. Lesson learned: appreciate your fam.
Family IS everything, but not all family. I’ve learned that I don’t have to respect someone just because we’re blood. Sounds harsh, right? Not everyone may agree, but I just don’t think I need to love someone automatically when our relationship is non-existent. So, it’s ok to not love all of your family. Just saying.
Life is hard, but an inch forward is an inch forward. This year I was so confused about life. I struggled for so long if I wanted to move or not, or what career I wanted to pursue. It was really challenging to figure out, because I sincerely had no clue what I wanted to do, but I knew in order to grow financially or career wise, I had to figure it out! But! I! Couldn’t! But then eventually I did!
I learned how rewarding it is to eat healthy, to work out consistently, and to get a good nights sleep the majority of the time. I will never go back to my old habits, and I’m so glad I turned my health around. This year has shown me what getting into a good healthy routine can do for you and your health.
Ok. I learned, even though it’s so annoying, that it’s ok to miss someone. It’s ok to miss someone even though they are 100% completely undeserving of it. It doesn’t mean I’ll reach out, or say hi, because I won’t. But I love with my whole heart, and I realized it’s ok to miss someone, because at one point, they were a big part of my life, and I can’t discount that. So, it’s ok to miss someone, just don’t reflect too much, because that’ll just get ya down and blue sister.
This year I learned to value the little things. Even if they’re the tiniest things, or put a temporary smile on your face, value it! I value my coffee, because I really do look forward to it. I value Sudoku, because it’s a nice little way to distract me from my anxiety, and I value The Office, because it’s the best show ever. Small things make a big difference, and you have to love the little things in life.
Sometimes you have to work at a place that does not make you happy, because you’re still trying to figure life out. Most of 22, I didn’t have any sort of my life together, but what I did have was a job that paid the bills. I know sometimes we have to do something or work somewhere that doesn’t make us happy at all, but remind yourself it’s only temporary, and that it’s helping you build yourself. It’s helping you while you figure things out.
This one is so simple, but wow I was not good at this before. Here it is: If someone is not giving you the time of day that you deserve, then YOU don’t give them the time of day. If someone isn’t giving you the effort that you are putting in, then YOU stop giving all your effort since it’s not being matched. Stop wasting your time on people who don’t deserve it! People should earn their way into your life, and they shouldn’t get an excuse for not putting in effort or attention. Shit needs to be equal. Do not under value yourself.
I have never felt more alone, depressed, confused, and anxious more in this year than I have ever in my entire life. But, I have never learned more about myself than I have this year. I think we all have to go through some really tough things to truly understand ourselves. I was forced to figure shit out, and it was the biggest challenge ever, but it was the most rewarding. I’m so happy I’ve spent 22 working on me, and I think you have to do that alone. Or at least, it was best for me this way.
Skin care. Skin care. Skin care.
Do things for you from time to time. Order some clothes online, or go eat at that place you’re craving. This probably falls under self love, but I think we should treat ourselves way more often than what we do. I think we should make ourselves our number one priority, because only you are really stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. So I’m going to make myself happy.
Travel more. Probably easier said than done, but I’ve traveled so much this year, and I’m so thankful for it. You really just learn so much more about yourself when you travel. You get to decide how you spend your days, where you want to eat, and what you miss and don’t miss. I hope I can travel as much at 23.
Don’t let your guard down too fast. I unfortunately have done this one too many times, and it bites me in the ass every time. Stop it, Gabby! Fuck. But yeah, seriously, sometimes you just have to be a damn onion. Give them one layer at a time, hunny, and make sure they work for those layers!
Don’t be afraid to be you and to show yourself though. I’m expressive and an over-sharer, and I’ll still post blogs about how I’m feeling, etc. and I won’t care if y’all read it or not. If you’ve made it this far: hello.
DON’T LET PEOPLE KNOCK YOU DOWN!!! Fuck those people!!! You need to grow up and be courageous by putting your foot down and standing up for yourself. And honestly, I don’t care if it’s at work, to a stranger, an ex, or to a friend; you need to seriously stand up for yourself, because it’s your life and no one gets to boss you around!
I’ve learned that even if my morals and beliefs don’t match up with someone else’s, then that does not mean there needs to be any disrespect or harsh feelings towards someone. You just accept what they believe, and you move on. My parents are 100% against tattoos, and I have 7, so they know about them, can hate them, and now move on. My body, my beliefs. Their bodies, their beliefs. We respectfully disagree about tattoos…and we move on. Plain and simple.
I learned that I want to be a school counselor! So, I’m going to get my masters in school counseling! Yay!
This one is so cliche, but some things are so hard to actually BELIEVE, but: honestly, everything is always going to work out. Life gets so hard, rough patches get long, but you just have to push forward. You. Have. To. Life is going to work out as it should, and you just have to keep working at being a better person, a happier person, and a more positive person. Have that faith that everything really is going to work out, but actually work on yourself too! Nothing fixes itself.

Thank you reading my 22 lessons that I gathered this year at 22. It’s been a tough, yet rewarding year for me, and although most of it was hard, I wouldn’t changed any of it. You shouldn’t change the tough parts, because they always lead you to the good ones.

Also, Happy 23rd Birthday to me!

Stop Questioning, And Start Trusting The Process

On July 29, 2019July 29, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

22 has been such an enlightening and transformative year for me thus far. We never really know why certain situations are handed to us, but there’s always something to take away.

I think it’s so important to not look at situations you go through as negative, but just as lessons. We learn, we grow, and we mature. For me this year, it’s been a lesson to trust God’s process and what He has in store for me. I know that it’s hard to remind myself of this in the moment, but I know that it’s all building up to be something great. I know that this process will lead to an even stronger me. I don’t want to be a negative person. I don’t want to see every situation as bad or horrible. I don’t want to view myself as a victim. I want to guide myself through it, and find the pieces I can take away and learn from. Not only do you learn things about yourself, but you learn more about others as well. You learn to be more understanding, compassionate, and kind. You could be the one being dragged through the mud, but that doesn’t mean you should be the bitter one.

I work heavily on my future, and am continuously working to be a better person. I am working towards my goals and dreams, and can already tell that things are starting to come together….and it’s because I’ve never stopped trusting the process, or wondered why God was taking me through what he was taking me through. He has placed certain people in my life for either guidance and love or as lessons. I have learned not to question Him, but to thank Him for what He has given me. I have felt the pain of the lessons, but have found the peace and understanding in those lessons as well. He places everything in our lives for a reason. It is our duty to figure out if this is a lesson or a blessing. Every opportunity must be taken, and to be learned from. You never know how it’ll go if you do not take the opportunities He is providing.

We hold ourselves back from so many things, because we stop trusting the process and we start questioning everything. Trust, and grow. Believe that there is a reason someone pops into your life, believe that there is a reason this specific opportunity popped up and grab onto it. God does everything in the most perfect timing and it is not for us to question why He chooses to do it at a certain time. He knows what He is doing, so trust Him. Trust the beautiful process, because it all leads to something beautiful and amazing.

As much as I want to ask Him, “Why do I go through so many difficult obstacles? Why can’t the destination be here already? Why do a lot of things not work out when I want them to?” I just have to trust in the reasoning, and what I’m going to learn along the way. I think it’s so normal to feel the pity and the frustration and the disappointment, but just knowing there are amazing things coming, is worth the wait and worth going through the downfalls.

Persevering…even when it’s hard

On July 1, 2019July 1, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Independence- It takes a while to grasp sometimes

On May 31, 2019May 31, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

I can fully admit to myself now that I was not an independent person last year or anytime before. Of course I had periods where I was more independent than others, but not to the capacity where I am now. I think some of us really have a hard time figuring out that we don’t need others to make us happy. We don’t necessarily need people in our lives, but we want them. This concept comes easier to others, but for some of us (me) it takes awhile to really grasp and truly comprehend.

This year (I know I’ve mentioned this many times) I took a hard look at myself, and I really wish I had done it sooner. I took a look at myself and really focused in on what I wanted to work on.

I wanted to work on:

Obviously being more independent. This was top on my list. I was forced to be alone, which is NOT a bad thing. I was put in a position where I NEEDED to work on this, and not for anyone else, but just for myself.
I wanted to lose weight. I was very unhealthy with the food I put in my body, and how little I worked out. **I’m really proud of this one in particular because of how much I have really turned my life around.
Becoming an even better friend. I was not a bad friend, but for awhile I was an absent friend. I wanted to work on being a more present and loving friend.

I have more to the list but I want to expand on number one.

In my last relationship, I was regretfully very dependent. I did not take time for myself. I didn’t give myself space away, and now looking back I honestly just shake my head. To how I was, to now….I’m so different in this aspect. I wish it didn’t take so long to figure this all out, but here we are. Sometimes it takes a huge event to happen in order for us to really get it…for us to really grasp what we need to work on.

Becoming independent has been such a rewarding lesson that I have learned and experienced. I was my own person before, but now I really am engaging in the woman I am. By that I mean, I am doing the things that make ME happy and I’m actually DOING instead of just saying I am my own person. Before I couldn’t be alone. But now I take space away from everyone, and take time to myself. I have my “me time” (I thoroughly enjoy my me time so I’m able to go workout or just lay in bed watching whatever.) I go on more trips, I apply more time into my hobbies, and I’ve finally grasped that I don’t need anyone to be happy, because I’m very very happy just being/ doing me and working on myself.

I seriously cannot explain why it took so long for me to figure this out, because some people are naturally very independent. I applaud those people, but some of them are so independent where they do not allow others in. For me, I needed to FULLY become my own person. I wish I could have been different in the past, but everything is a lesson, nothing is a mistake. All I can do from this point on is to stay on this path that I’m on, and embrace all the great things that come my way.

Two-way street vs. A white dotted line

On April 18, 2019April 18, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

One of the many things I’ve learned this year is that not all relationships are a two-way street. I’ve realized that there were some people that I would put effort into seeing, but it wouldn’t be reciprocated. I think another thing I became aware of is that, especially after a difficult time in your life, you really realize who your true friends are. I noticed who my friends were due to circumstance, and who actually wanted to be apart of my life.

Growing up, and maturing more as an adult, you notice a lot of different things. You realize who to put your effort into, and who you start to pull away from. It’s definitely a hard realization to have when you start losing a few friends, but just like any other person in your life, you have to think to yourself, “If they’re not putting in effort to spend time with me, then why am I wasting my time putting effort into them?” It’s not fair to yourself to stay in a one-way relationship. All relationships, with everyone in your life, should be a two-way street. When driving, the difference between a yellow dotted line and a white dotted line are very significant, and it should be the same way in your personal relationships. Be aware of the color of the line in your relationships, and act accordingly.

At this point in our lives, it’s so unnecessary to waste time and energy for people who don’t put in the same love and effort as I do. I’m sorry, but I only have the energy for the genuine friends in my life. This year has taught me so much about myself, and one of those things is that my time is valuable, and I really don’t feel like giving out my energy to those who don’t deserve it anymore.

I think another thing we learn to accept as we age is that friends dwindle, and that’s okay. Some really are just temporary, and can leave fun memories from the times you had, but then there are those rare few that stick around for the long haul. The important factor is realizing who is temporary and who isn’t. Overall, it’s so important to value the time you have with each person. If I had known at those times that it would be my last time spending time with someone, I think I would have cherished it so much more.

At the end of the day, life is what it is. People come and go: they add memories and pain, and they teach us valuable (good or bad) lessons. Value the people who consciously decide to be in your life, and never let them go. Those are the individuals you should invest your time and effort into.

Perspective: the silver lining in every situation

On February 6, 2019February 6, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Take a minute to really understand and grasp the meaning behind these pictures. These two pictures are powerful, and should serve as daily reminders that there is always a silver lining behind every difficult situation.

“Baby, don’t you know, all o’them tears gon’ come and go. Baby you just gotta make up your mind that every little thing is gonna be alright.” Be Alright- Ariana Grande

As creatures of habit, and ones that tend to find little things to bitch about, it is important to start changing your perspective and mindset for the better. Behind every hard situation is something beautiful waiting to be revealed. Take a minute to think of something you have gone through, and now think of why you’re grateful that situation happened.

In 8th grade I went through severe depression. I started counseling, my dad called the principal to see if changing schools would be the best option, and no one understood what was going on. I was in a horrible rut. I cried every day, I had no appetite, I had no desire to go to school, I was confused about life and who I was. I was scared of everything, and it was a horrible horrible time in my life. For months I was like this. BUT the silver lining that came to light was that when I came out of my depression I turned into the most outgoing, goofy, more confident little lady. Looking back, I am so glad I had to go through that to find out who I was. Obviously I didn’t learn everything about myself, but it turned me into a confident girl, ready to take on challenges that did not scare her, and I am so proud of who I was and who I turned into. The flower picture above is what describes this situation most. I BLOOMED after my depression.

I have gone through three break ups. Three heart breaks that were devastating and horrible, where my first two boyfriends really fucked me up mentally and it was so so challenging to get through those. But I learned new things about relationships, myself, what I wanted out of a guy, and re-learned how amazing I was!

“It’s like something has to die to help you realize – damn I feel alive.” Alive – Kehlani

During the hard times, find the positives! I know its hard, trust me!! But once you focus on your mentality, and focus on having a healthier mentality, you are starting the journey to a more positive lifestyle and attitude! Becoming a more positive person takes practice! It’s not a switch that you can flip, but a mentality that takes time to form and deploy in your daily life.

So start practicing! And if you’re going through a hard time right now, please know that there is something beautiful and magical awaiting to be unfolded and discovered. I STRONGLY believe that everything happens for a reason, so please continue on working on being the happy, positive person that you can be, and then life will show you kindness and love back. God gives you what you need, and He shows you what you don’t need. He teaches us these beautiful lessons, and we HAVE to trust Him.

Sometimes, I’m an a**hole.

On January 30, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

Ugh I know what you’re thinking: “Gabby, you’re perfect! What are you talking about?” But yes, indeed, sometimes I can be an asshole. And newsflash to the person reading this right now, you can be too. Sorry if you didn’t know, but we are all assholes! It’s literally inevitable, and even if you don’t mean to be, we all offend someone sometime in our lives.

So, sometimes I’m an asshole, and as someone who is trying to self-reflect more, in an honest way, I really know that I can be horrible sometimes. It is NEVER my goal to be mean, but I’m not perfect. Sometimes I can be mean to my co-workers, my friends, and sadly, my family. And I am so sorry to everyone. Why is it that we are so cruel to the people closest to us? In no way should we be comfortable enough to be an asshole to our loved ones or to the people we see regularly. In fact, we shouldn’t be an asshole to anyone. So seriously, why do we do it? Sometimes we realize it after the fact, and then you really feel like an asshole. But sometimes we choose to be mean, and know we are being mean in that moment.

What does it get us to be so horrible? Literally nothing. It does not achieve a goal, it does not make anyone on either side feel better, and honestly it is SO unhealthy to be that way.

Today I made another driver so mad that she felt the need to drive her car up next to mine and yell at me. Jokes on her though, both of our windows were up and I couldn’t hear a word she was saying. BUT, I didn’t react the nicest either. Yelling (and maybe gesturing mean things) at each other didn’t get us anywhere. Personally, she over-reacted, but I could’ve been the bigger person to not engage in such negativity. It’s about CHOOSING to look the other way, or CHOOSING to be fucking nice. It is NOT hard to be nice, in fact, I think it’s more work to be mean to someone.

Sometimes I’m an asshole, and I recognize that, and I will continuously work on that for the rest of my life. I really hope others can self-reflect and work hard on being the best/ most nice versions of themselves as well.

Confession 1: 13 Year Old Me Was a Legend

On January 29, 2019January 30, 2019 By gabriellestroupLeave a comment

When I typed the title of this post, I mentally said to myself “Oh Gosh, here we go…”. Initially when I started this whole blog, the plan wasn’t to “confess” things, but it rhymed with the title, so I thought, what the hell.

This first one isn’t juicy at all, BUT IT IS SUPER EMBARRASSING, OK? I can’t just start a blog, open up my whole mind and heart to everyone, and not be ok with embarrassment, right? But here I am, willingly doing so. Attached to this confession is a lesson that my younger self learned, so I’ll just mentally remind myself of that as I keep typing.

The summer going into my freshman year of high school, I signed up for the Nebraska State Games. It wasn’t the first time, or the second, that I’ve done the NSG, but this was the first time I signed up for table tennis…not only did I participate (for fun I might add), BUT I GOT LAST PLACE! WTF. Ok guys, I’ve played tennis since I was 8, was number one in the state when I was 10, and played in the NSG previously FOR tennis. What the hell was I doing playing table tennis?? I had NO BUSINESS playing that sport, but there I was, ready to play (for fun!!).

I initially signed up in high hopes, and excited for something new…once it came time for it, and people were starting to ask what sport I signed up for, I was SO embarrassed. Not that table tennis is bad, but thirteen year old me going into high school finally realized this came off super un-cool. When it was finally the day for the opening ceremony, and we had to walk on the field behind our sport’s banner, I stayed more close to the ‘Tennis’ banner instead of ‘Table Tennis’, because that’s how embarrassed I was.

After the ceremony, a group of girls I had played basketball with, and was going into high school with, asked what sport I was playing, and I literally sped walked away. This was my low as a 13 year old….

LESSON: Looking back, I think it is so so funny that I signed up, played, got LAST place, and ran away from those girls. But now I think about it, and who the f**k cares. Even now when I do things, I really don’t care what people think of me, or how they’ll perceive the things I do/ say. It’s not from arrogance, but more of I just don’t care what people think of me. I mean I got last place in table tennis at the NSG at 13 years old. I think I was a freakin’ legend.

SO, DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS, AND HAVE FUN DOING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

Lessons, Progressions, and Confessions

Tag: lessons