Tag: moving on

Persevering…even when it’s hard

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I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Living Your Best Life

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Right now I’m currently sitting on my bed, PJ’s already on, listening to nine minutes of nature sounds just so I can focus on writing this. I’m not the only one who listens to nature sounds while working on something, right?

I’m really excited to write this post only because it’s fun for me. Summer isn’t even over and I feel as if I’ve been living the best summer so far. You know that saying that Andy from The Office says,

I wish I knew last year was going to be part of my “good old days” before I left them, but this year it’s different. This time I’m very much aware of how great life is right now. These past few months I have been truly living the best days of my life so far. For you, you need to grasp onto this time and make it the best. You need to live fully, and start appreciating life NOW before you’re stuck in the future regretting how you wished you appreciated them more.

Before I share the incredibly fun things that I’ve done, I just want to state that living your best life is all about mentality. It doesn’t mean you have to travel to live your best life or do all these fancy, cool things, it just means having the best attitude towards life. It means feeling free from anything heavy wearing down on your heart and spirit. It means the heavy has been let go and you’re tackling a new and fun phase in life. It means embracing this amazing adventure we were given and making the best of it all.

Surround yourself with people who know how to make things fun. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and inspire you. Surround yourself with nature, your favorite hobbies, things you’re passionate about, etc.

Push yourself to do new things, even when it scares you. Do the things that make you happy, it could be the smallest thing or something you’ve always wanted to try.

What’s helping me live my best life? Quality family time. Girl time. Traveling. Doing different things. Being adventurous and spontaneous.

The pictures above represent the happiness I’ve been living and enduring, and the fun things I’ve been able to do recently. I have been living it up. I have let the hurt and pain of the past slip away and have been absorbing these amazing times I have been blessed to have. With being in Colorado in April, Missouri, Florida and Iowa just in June alone. I get to go to my first Sporting KC game in a couple of weeks. I’m going to Cardi B in late July, and to Alabama in September. People, living life happily is by finding joy in the upcoming events. Find things to look forward to. Travel A LOT. Go on weekend trips or to the lake. Be ADVENTUROUS and don’t let life not let you LIVE. We all have responsibilities, but what is life about if we’re not going to ENJOY it?

I am living my best life and I don’t care who knows it. Seven months ago was a hard and trying time, but now I am thriving. I embrace who I am, I’ve grown from the pain, I keep learning, and I keep living. Life is great and I can’t wait for the many fun adventures to come. What’s stopping you from living your best life?

Two-way street vs. A white dotted line

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One of the many things I’ve learned this year is that not all relationships are a two-way street. I’ve realized that there were some people that I would put effort into seeing, but it wouldn’t be reciprocated. I think another thing I became aware of is that, especially after a difficult time in your life, you really realize who your true friends are. I noticed who my friends were due to circumstance, and who actually wanted to be apart of my life.

Growing up, and maturing more as an adult, you notice a lot of different things. You realize who to put your effort into, and who you start to pull away from. It’s definitely a hard realization to have when you start losing a few friends, but just like any other person in your life, you have to think to yourself, “If they’re not putting in effort to spend time with me, then why am I wasting my time putting effort into them?” It’s not fair to yourself to stay in a one-way relationship. All relationships, with everyone in your life, should be a two-way street. When driving, the difference between a yellow dotted line and a white dotted line are very significant, and it should be the same way in your personal relationships. Be aware of the color of the line in your relationships, and act accordingly.

At this point in our lives, it’s so unnecessary to waste time and energy for people who don’t put in the same love and effort as I do. I’m sorry, but I only have the energy for the genuine friends in my life. This year has taught me so much about myself, and one of those things is that my time is valuable, and I really don’t feel like giving out my energy to those who don’t deserve it anymore.

I think another thing we learn to accept as we age is that friends dwindle, and that’s okay. Some really are just temporary, and can leave fun memories from the times you had, but then there are those rare few that stick around for the long haul. The important factor is realizing who is temporary and who isn’t. Overall, it’s so important to value the time you have with each person. If I had known at those times that it would be my last time spending time with someone, I think I would have cherished it so much more.

At the end of the day, life is what it is. People come and go: they add memories and pain, and they teach us valuable (good or bad) lessons. Value the people who consciously decide to be in your life, and never let them go. Those are the individuals you should invest your time and effort into.

Why You Should Practice Forgiveness

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The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Mahatma Gandhi

Self-love, patience, motivation, trust…these are all things that we mentally practice with ourselves, and I think we should add forgiveness to the list. I am definitely one that unintentionally holds grudges or never forgets what a certain person has done to me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn to forgive.

Just like everyone else, I have had so many people hurt me in my life. I try really hard to be the best friend I can be, the best girlfriend, the best daughter and sister. I would never intentionally hurt someone, so I always think to myself, “why do these people want to hurt me?” But it shouldn’t be a pity party. Everyone is different, and people do not have the same heart, kindness, or love that you do. So, there is bound to be hurt along the way in our life’s journey. To be strong is to forgive. To be a better person, and to be the best version of yourself, is to start to learn how to forgive.

Forgiveness isn’t just the absence of anger. I think it’s also the presence of self-love, when you actually begin to value yourself.

Tara Westover

Practicing forgiveness is an ongoing lesson for me. I still remember traumatic times in middle school that haunt me to this day. I feel saddened and hurt and angry when I think about that time in my life. But to be able to move on and free myself of this past trauma and hurt, I HAVE to forgive. Tyler Perry said it best:

It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.

Tyler Perry

In order to continue life freely, we must move on from these things that gave us pain. It does not mean forget what you have gone through, and your journey, but to learn from this and to move forward as a healthier human being who is capable of forgiveness.

Not only do we need to learn to forgive others, but the hardest part is learning to forgive ourselves. We are our worst and harshest critic. Even if we don’t admit it out loud to ourselves or to others that we messed up, deep down we know when we screwed up. My mom and I were talking about a situation that happened a few months ago and she repeatedly told me that I needed to forgive myself. I hadn’t even realized it at the time, but I was mad at myself. I regretted this specific action and I don’t think I would have thought to forgive myself if my mom didn’t tell me to. We don’t realize how hard we are on ourselves, but sometimes we can be absolutely horrible. We spread love and kindness and forgiveness to others, but where is it when we need to give ourselves some love, kindness, and forgiveness?

Learn to forgive. It is not an overnight recipe, but a lifelong practice. It does take time, but it is so freeing once we release our inner demons of hatred and anger. Let it go, and let yourself feel more love than anger. It isn’t okay when someone hurts us, but it’s also not okay that you make yourself hold onto that hurt longer than you should. Learn to forgive, and learn to let go.

I wonder

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I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about you all the time and wonder what life has been like for you these past three months. I would be lying if I said I didn’t hate you, or that I didn’t love you. In fact, I would be the biggest liar in Nebraska if I said I didn’t think any of those things.

I do wonder about you…all the time, actually. It’s days like today where it gets me down thinking about how I’m not the one you choose to spend some of your days with. It hurts to think I’m not the one you talk about your days to. And it especially hurts knowing you aren’t my partner in crime, my best friend anymore.

I wonder what your life routine is like now. I wonder if you’re happy, and not the happy you tell other people, but if you’re actually doing good deep down. I wonder if you even wonder about me.

I wonder why you couldn’t be mature enough for a relationship with me. I wonder when you’ll finally realize what you lost, and how much it fucking sucks for me. And I wonder if you even care.

Perspective: the silver lining in every situation

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Take a minute to really understand and grasp the meaning behind these pictures. These two pictures are powerful, and should serve as daily reminders that there is always a silver lining behind every difficult situation.


“Baby, don’t you know, all o’them tears gon’ come and go. Baby you just gotta make up your mind that every little thing is gonna be alright.” Be Alright- Ariana Grande

As creatures of habit, and ones that tend to find little things to bitch about, it is important to start changing your perspective and mindset for the better. Behind every hard situation is something beautiful waiting to be revealed. Take a minute to think of something you have gone through, and now think of why you’re grateful that situation happened.

In 8th grade I went through severe depression. I started counseling, my dad called the principal to see if changing schools would be the best option, and no one understood what was going on. I was in a horrible rut. I cried every day, I had no appetite, I had no desire to go to school, I was confused about life and who I was. I was scared of everything, and it was a horrible horrible time in my life. For months I was like this. BUT the silver lining that came to light was that when I came out of my depression I turned into the most outgoing, goofy, more confident little lady. Looking back, I am so glad I had to go through that to find out who I was. Obviously I didn’t learn everything about myself, but it turned me into a confident girl, ready to take on challenges that did not scare her, and I am so proud of who I was and who I turned into. The flower picture above is what describes this situation most. I BLOOMED after my depression.

I have gone through three break ups. Three heart breaks that were devastating and horrible, where my first two boyfriends really fucked me up mentally and it was so so challenging to get through those. But I learned new things about relationships, myself, what I wanted out of a guy, and re-learned how amazing I was!

“It’s like something has to die to help you realize – damn I feel alive.” Alive – Kehlani


During the hard times, find the positives! I know its hard, trust me!! But once you focus on your mentality, and focus on having a healthier mentality, you are starting the journey to a more positive lifestyle and attitude! Becoming a more positive person takes practice! It’s not a switch that you can flip, but a mentality that takes time to form and deploy in your daily life.

So start practicing! And if you’re going through a hard time right now, please know that there is something beautiful and magical awaiting to be unfolded and discovered. I STRONGLY believe that everything happens for a reason, so please continue on working on being the happy, positive person that you can be, and then life will show you kindness and love back. God gives you what you need, and He shows you what you don’t need. He teaches us these beautiful lessons, and we HAVE to trust Him.

2/1/19 was the clarity I needed

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This weekend did it for me! And before I even explain anything, just know that figuring out what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say it, was definitely challenging. I have so much I want to express, and so much I want to share, that I didn’t even know what to title this. But let me just tell you: 2/1/19 was what I needed.

Sometimes after a breakup, you go through so many difficult paths, emotions, and thoughts. This one has been really challenging for me, because when I love, it’s deep and real, and loyal. But it takes awhile to get to the point where you figure out that everything really is going to be just fine without that person! And if they don’t want you in their life, then why THE FUCK would I want them in mine? It’s so simple right? But no person can fully grasp that after a break up.

I can only think of me in this situation and what is going to better MYSELF. During these almost three months, I have chosen to grow mentally, I have chosen to mature, I have chosen to eat cleaner, I have chosen to dedicate myself to the gym, and I have chosen to proceed with moving on. It took little steps, and it also took a freakin’ village, and I am so so grateful for that village of supporters. The difference about me is that I chose to reach out to my support group, and I chose to do what I needed to do to get back to happy Gab. And let me tell you, I am back to loving myself, I am back to being silly and goofy, and I am back to being the cool me that I know that I am.

In the past three months I have been to Denver twice, Florida in December, and headed to LA this coming weekend. I’m healthier mentally and physically, and guess who is looking for jobs out of state?? This girl! Woo! Is that independent enough for you? *cough cough* Guys, I am so excited for the future, and I can’t tell you enough how happy I am about life. It was dark for a bit, and emotions would be going up and down, but I am so lucky!

So cheers to a day filled with happy thoughts, well-wishes, but mainly, CHEERS TO MOVING ON. If you choose to digress, then that’s on you. My potential is unlimited, and I’m climbing baby, so watch the fuck out.


What I’ve been up to the past 3 months!

I’m too good to you

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If I could make this blog a little more like MySpace, I would have ‘Too Good’ by drake ft. Rihanna play as you read this post. Breaking down, and closely listening to the lyrics, it hits home all too well. My whole life I’ve felt unappreciated by various individuals: family, friends, ex-boyfriends, etc. It’s been a familiar and exhausting routine where I do all that I can to be the best version of myself for someone, because that’s just who I am, and I end up being the one who gets hurt. That totally makes sense!

I look back at the various relationships I’ve had during my life and recognize that I’m just too damn nice. This time around, and what I’ve been realizing these past couple of months, I’m done doing all that I can if the energy is NOT reciprocated. I’m 22 years old and my kindness has been taken advantage of, and that makes me want to kick someone’s ass. I look back at some people and think maybe it’s good they’re no longer in my life. YESTERDAY I’m asking God why he has put me through the pain that I’m going through, but TODAY I know why.

Today is about self-reflection, and as always, moving forward. I can look back and confidently say that I did the best I could, I was the best friend I could be, I was a damn good girlfriend, and I can keep living with a smile on my face. At the end of the day, I’m NOT the one with the regrets, but the one who can weed through the negative ones, to find the genuine ones, and for that is one reason why I smile today.

 

So recognize the real ones, and appreciate them, and when you realize who is good for you, and who isn’t- well life gets a little more simple then.