Tag: moving forward

Stop Questioning, And Start Trusting The Process

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22 has been such an enlightening and transformative year for me thus far. We never really know why certain situations are handed to us, but there’s always something to take away.

I think it’s so important to not look at situations you go through as negative, but just as lessons. We learn, we grow, and we mature. For me this year, it’s been a lesson to trust God’s process and what He has in store for me. I know that it’s hard to remind myself of this in the moment, but I know that it’s all building up to be something great. I know that this process will lead to an even stronger me. I don’t want to be a negative person. I don’t want to see every situation as bad or horrible. I don’t want to view myself as a victim. I want to guide myself through it, and find the pieces I can take away and learn from. Not only do you learn things about yourself, but you learn more about others as well. You learn to be more understanding, compassionate, and kind. You could be the one being dragged through the mud, but that doesn’t mean you should be the bitter one.

I work heavily on my future, and am continuously working to be a better person. I am working towards my goals and dreams, and can already tell that things are starting to come together….and it’s because I’ve never stopped trusting the process, or wondered why God was taking me through what he was taking me through. He has placed certain people in my life for either guidance and love or as lessons. I have learned not to question Him, but to thank Him for what He has given me. I have felt the pain of the lessons, but have found the peace and understanding in those lessons as well. He places everything in our lives for a reason. It is our duty to figure out if this is a lesson or a blessing. Every opportunity must be taken, and to be learned from. You never know how it’ll go if you do not take the opportunities He is providing.

We hold ourselves back from so many things, because we stop trusting the process and we start questioning everything. Trust, and grow. Believe that there is a reason someone pops into your life, believe that there is a reason this specific opportunity popped up and grab onto it. God does everything in the most perfect timing and it is not for us to question why He chooses to do it at a certain time. He knows what He is doing, so trust Him. Trust the beautiful process, because it all leads to something beautiful and amazing.

As much as I want to ask Him, “Why do I go through so many difficult obstacles? Why can’t the destination be here already? Why do a lot of things not work out when I want them to?” I just have to trust in the reasoning, and what I’m going to learn along the way. I think it’s so normal to feel the pity and the frustration and the disappointment, but just knowing there are amazing things coming, is worth the wait and worth going through the downfalls.

Persevering…even when it’s hard

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I like to write about what’s been going on lately, and the lessons I learn along the way. These past couple of weeks have been testing me, but it’s also been a hard time for a few people whom are close to me. So this is for them, for me, and for anyone that needs it.

When something horrible happens to someone, others may view it as nothing. People take things harder than others, because we’re all different, and believe it or not, we are all sensitive to something. If you know someone is going through a hard time, please be sensitive towards them, be considerate and kind. Less judgement, more kindness.

Although these long, dark tunnels seem to be never ending, you have to keep going. I very much believe that we learn more about ourselves, about others, and about life in the darkest of times. It’s so hard to tell yourself that in those dark times, but during them, do not be afraid of those things that scare you, worry you, hold you back, or give you anxiety. If you are scared of losing someone, or transitioning into a new chapter, missing out on possible great opportunities, etc., the fear is the worst part, but do not let it control your mind and allow your mind to go further into the dark, further with your anxiety, or stop you from pushing forward.

I also strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There is a reason why you may not end up with someone, or you didn’t get the job you wanted, or if life isn’t going how you expected it to. But still, at the end of the day, we decide our future. Take things as a sign, and keep pressing on. Do not let a “no” stop you. I don’t care how cliche this sounds, but if a door closes, find another one or a fucking window. Find your motivation, and focus on that. Find, and fix on what drives you, and stick with it.

Things are not always going to go our way, but we are built to be strong-minded individuals. For me: I am in the category of feeling unsatisfied with how things are at the moment. Trust me, I. Get. It. BUT notice how I said “at the moment”, because I know that what I’m doing right now, where I’m working right now, where I am living right now, is all temporary. I am living in a transitional state right now, and it scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more excited to see where this transition takes me.

It’s not a night and day thing, it’s taken me months to get to this healthier, more hopeful, happier state of mind. After months of hardships, mental obstacles I’ve broken down, many talks with family and friends, and working on myself independently…that’s how I got here, and I’m not done yet. Not even close. I know I need to keep growing, because we all need to continuously work on becoming the best version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. So do that. Become the best version of you.

So, this rut you’re in: keep going, keep fighting, keep trucking on, because although there may not be a “light” right now, that does not mean that it’s not coming. Take advantage of this difficult time, only because you’re going to learn more than you ever thought you would during it. Trust me.

Living Your Best Life

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Right now I’m currently sitting on my bed, PJ’s already on, listening to nine minutes of nature sounds just so I can focus on writing this. I’m not the only one who listens to nature sounds while working on something, right?

I’m really excited to write this post only because it’s fun for me. Summer isn’t even over and I feel as if I’ve been living the best summer so far. You know that saying that Andy from The Office says,

I wish I knew last year was going to be part of my “good old days” before I left them, but this year it’s different. This time I’m very much aware of how great life is right now. These past few months I have been truly living the best days of my life so far. For you, you need to grasp onto this time and make it the best. You need to live fully, and start appreciating life NOW before you’re stuck in the future regretting how you wished you appreciated them more.

Before I share the incredibly fun things that I’ve done, I just want to state that living your best life is all about mentality. It doesn’t mean you have to travel to live your best life or do all these fancy, cool things, it just means having the best attitude towards life. It means feeling free from anything heavy wearing down on your heart and spirit. It means the heavy has been let go and you’re tackling a new and fun phase in life. It means embracing this amazing adventure we were given and making the best of it all.

Surround yourself with people who know how to make things fun. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and inspire you. Surround yourself with nature, your favorite hobbies, things you’re passionate about, etc.

Push yourself to do new things, even when it scares you. Do the things that make you happy, it could be the smallest thing or something you’ve always wanted to try.

What’s helping me live my best life? Quality family time. Girl time. Traveling. Doing different things. Being adventurous and spontaneous.

The pictures above represent the happiness I’ve been living and enduring, and the fun things I’ve been able to do recently. I have been living it up. I have let the hurt and pain of the past slip away and have been absorbing these amazing times I have been blessed to have. With being in Colorado in April, Missouri, Florida and Iowa just in June alone. I get to go to my first Sporting KC game in a couple of weeks. I’m going to Cardi B in late July, and to Alabama in September. People, living life happily is by finding joy in the upcoming events. Find things to look forward to. Travel A LOT. Go on weekend trips or to the lake. Be ADVENTUROUS and don’t let life not let you LIVE. We all have responsibilities, but what is life about if we’re not going to ENJOY it?

I am living my best life and I don’t care who knows it. Seven months ago was a hard and trying time, but now I am thriving. I embrace who I am, I’ve grown from the pain, I keep learning, and I keep living. Life is great and I can’t wait for the many fun adventures to come. What’s stopping you from living your best life?

Two-way street vs. A white dotted line

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One of the many things I’ve learned this year is that not all relationships are a two-way street. I’ve realized that there were some people that I would put effort into seeing, but it wouldn’t be reciprocated. I think another thing I became aware of is that, especially after a difficult time in your life, you really realize who your true friends are. I noticed who my friends were due to circumstance, and who actually wanted to be apart of my life.

Growing up, and maturing more as an adult, you notice a lot of different things. You realize who to put your effort into, and who you start to pull away from. It’s definitely a hard realization to have when you start losing a few friends, but just like any other person in your life, you have to think to yourself, “If they’re not putting in effort to spend time with me, then why am I wasting my time putting effort into them?” It’s not fair to yourself to stay in a one-way relationship. All relationships, with everyone in your life, should be a two-way street. When driving, the difference between a yellow dotted line and a white dotted line are very significant, and it should be the same way in your personal relationships. Be aware of the color of the line in your relationships, and act accordingly.

At this point in our lives, it’s so unnecessary to waste time and energy for people who don’t put in the same love and effort as I do. I’m sorry, but I only have the energy for the genuine friends in my life. This year has taught me so much about myself, and one of those things is that my time is valuable, and I really don’t feel like giving out my energy to those who don’t deserve it anymore.

I think another thing we learn to accept as we age is that friends dwindle, and that’s okay. Some really are just temporary, and can leave fun memories from the times you had, but then there are those rare few that stick around for the long haul. The important factor is realizing who is temporary and who isn’t. Overall, it’s so important to value the time you have with each person. If I had known at those times that it would be my last time spending time with someone, I think I would have cherished it so much more.

At the end of the day, life is what it is. People come and go: they add memories and pain, and they teach us valuable (good or bad) lessons. Value the people who consciously decide to be in your life, and never let them go. Those are the individuals you should invest your time and effort into.

Why You Should Practice Forgiveness

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The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Mahatma Gandhi

Self-love, patience, motivation, trust…these are all things that we mentally practice with ourselves, and I think we should add forgiveness to the list. I am definitely one that unintentionally holds grudges or never forgets what a certain person has done to me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn to forgive.

Just like everyone else, I have had so many people hurt me in my life. I try really hard to be the best friend I can be, the best girlfriend, the best daughter and sister. I would never intentionally hurt someone, so I always think to myself, “why do these people want to hurt me?” But it shouldn’t be a pity party. Everyone is different, and people do not have the same heart, kindness, or love that you do. So, there is bound to be hurt along the way in our life’s journey. To be strong is to forgive. To be a better person, and to be the best version of yourself, is to start to learn how to forgive.

Forgiveness isn’t just the absence of anger. I think it’s also the presence of self-love, when you actually begin to value yourself.

Tara Westover

Practicing forgiveness is an ongoing lesson for me. I still remember traumatic times in middle school that haunt me to this day. I feel saddened and hurt and angry when I think about that time in my life. But to be able to move on and free myself of this past trauma and hurt, I HAVE to forgive. Tyler Perry said it best:

It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.

Tyler Perry

In order to continue life freely, we must move on from these things that gave us pain. It does not mean forget what you have gone through, and your journey, but to learn from this and to move forward as a healthier human being who is capable of forgiveness.

Not only do we need to learn to forgive others, but the hardest part is learning to forgive ourselves. We are our worst and harshest critic. Even if we don’t admit it out loud to ourselves or to others that we messed up, deep down we know when we screwed up. My mom and I were talking about a situation that happened a few months ago and she repeatedly told me that I needed to forgive myself. I hadn’t even realized it at the time, but I was mad at myself. I regretted this specific action and I don’t think I would have thought to forgive myself if my mom didn’t tell me to. We don’t realize how hard we are on ourselves, but sometimes we can be absolutely horrible. We spread love and kindness and forgiveness to others, but where is it when we need to give ourselves some love, kindness, and forgiveness?

Learn to forgive. It is not an overnight recipe, but a lifelong practice. It does take time, but it is so freeing once we release our inner demons of hatred and anger. Let it go, and let yourself feel more love than anger. It isn’t okay when someone hurts us, but it’s also not okay that you make yourself hold onto that hurt longer than you should. Learn to forgive, and learn to let go.

Give Yourself A Break- You’re Doing The Best You Can

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Some days I am at a lose of what my next chapter will be. Right now I’m in the awkward phase where I’m in between two chapters, trying to figure out my transition. To be honest, it all comes down to me building the courage to move forward and to start writing the next page.

Day after day I think about moving away and finally transitioning to the career field I’ve been waiting for and wanting to be in. The concept of moving away is what I want, but then I think about all that I am leaving behind and then the concept loses its beauty just a bit. But moving away is what I need to do to fulfill this desire I have been working for, to be in a field that I actually love. My obstacle at the moment is breaking the barrier of fear and just going for it; as scary as it is to leave all I know and all my memories behind, it’s just something I need to do.

But what I need to remember until then is that, even though I feel like I’m wasting time and not working towards anything, I actually am doing the best I can in this given moment. I haven’t given up on my dream, and the dream isn’t going to expire anytime soon. I think our biggest flaw as humans is that we think just because something hasn’t happened yet, you’re not doing the best you can or not working hard enough. There are days where we probably could do more, but if we let our dream die, THEN we have failed. Until then, we haven’t failed at all.

Our worst critic is ourselves, but we can also be our biggest fan. Our mentalities control our actions, and if we learn to change our mentalities from less critical to more optimistic, we can thrive so much better. The world we live in supplies so much pressure in life as it is, we don’t need our own selves to add anymore. This doesn’t mean to not push yourself or to not try as hard, but to remember that it’s okay to not be exactly where you thought you would be, and it’s okay to fail sometimes, it’s okay to be disappointed or to not always be the best. But it’s not okay to give up or provide excuse after excuse on why you’re procrastinating. Life isn’t going to wait for us to finally decide when we’re ready to leap, but it will provide us with endless possibilities and opportunities. Take them!

Give yourself a break- you’re doing the best you can, but don’t let that be your excuse a year from now. Keep moving forward and working hard; God has big plans for your life, don’t let them slip away.

Wake Up Call- My Health Scares Since 19

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When I was 19 years old, I was a sophomore in college. Everything was pretty normal-I had great friends, was doing good in school, and I “thought” I was healthy. My health was a slow crawl downhill, something unnoticeable up until it was an obvious problem. One day I started feeling completely different and unlike myself. I hit an exhaustion unknown to me, and far worse than an average “tired college student”. I would get a great night’s sleep, wake up, only to be overwhelmingly tired just an hour later. A tired where I NEEDED to sleep. I would be cold and out of it, and just unable to focus. I was in a morning class one day, I remember it was math. Something didn’t feel right, and I knew I needed to leave. I called my mom crying, exhausted, and ready to make an appointment with my doctor.

At 19 I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Few people my age have it, but it’s not completely uncommon to get it this young. Hypothyroidism is a disease that is more likely to develop in your 50’s and beyond. This disease means you have an under-active thyroid; your body attacks your thyroid and therefore does not get the hormones that the thyroid is supposed to be sending out. After getting some tests done, normal levels for proper working thyroids are between 0 and 5, and mine was a 25.

I was put on medicine that I have to take everyday for the rest of my life. It freaked me out that this was something incurable, something I would deal with forever. I’ve always been scared of it developing into something worse, like cancer. (That’s just my anxiety talking, but still scares me!) Hypothyroidism is not uncommon, but it’s stressful. My days are always different, some days I can be way more tired than usual, or just fine. The hormones in my medicine and my birth control sometimes affect me because of all the hormone intake my body is having. It’s been a real struggle.

When I was 20 I had to get an ultrasound on an artery in my neck. That was the scariest thing I’ve done. Plaque was building up, and my doctor warned that if I didn’t really crack down on my diet and exercise, it would only get worse. I was 20 and plaque was already building up. I wasn’t an unhealthy person then, but I didn’t take everything so seriously when it came to food and the gym.

21 was not my healthiest year. I don’t think I need to further explain that one, but now at 22 I have sincerely cracked down on everything. To me, it’s personal. Working out and eating right is not about being skinny for me, it’s literally about my thyroid, and not building up anymore plaque in my arteries. It’s more serious for me to be a more healthy person. Our bodies send messages, and mine was telling me that I needed to be careful. It is a noticeable difference for me if I don’t take my medicine for a few days. It makes me sad to think I am so young dealing with this and possible future issues, but I’m doing what I need to do and that’s all I can do in this moment. I am thankful that it isn’t worse.

This message is to share that you do not have to be old to have health issues, it can be any age and mine started at 19. Be careful about what you’re always eating and drinking. There are days to have fun, but most days you need to be serious about what you are putting in your body. Activity is key, and working out is so important. Be thankful for your health, and remember, things could always be worse. Take care and love your body, and it will love you back.

I wonder

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I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about you all the time and wonder what life has been like for you these past three months. I would be lying if I said I didn’t hate you, or that I didn’t love you. In fact, I would be the biggest liar in Nebraska if I said I didn’t think any of those things.

I do wonder about you…all the time, actually. It’s days like today where it gets me down thinking about how I’m not the one you choose to spend some of your days with. It hurts to think I’m not the one you talk about your days to. And it especially hurts knowing you aren’t my partner in crime, my best friend anymore.

I wonder what your life routine is like now. I wonder if you’re happy, and not the happy you tell other people, but if you’re actually doing good deep down. I wonder if you even wonder about me.

I wonder why you couldn’t be mature enough for a relationship with me. I wonder when you’ll finally realize what you lost, and how much it fucking sucks for me. And I wonder if you even care.

We’re All In This Together

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Somewhere along the line women started bashing other women and vice versa with men. Secretly we all have gotten jealous and proceeded to say a horrible comment, such as, “Ugh, I hate how pretty she is.” ,or “This freakin’ bitch is so skinny, what the fuck.” (Or maybe these are just my thoughts, but I know I’m not the only one…)

Is there a reason we need to inflict insults on someone, even if its just to a friend, or think a certain way about them just because they have something you don’t have? Jealousy is not cute, and it’s something even I need to remember. It’s something I need to learn in my day-to-day life, and in my relationships. We should not have this notion in our head where we feel some sort of negative way about someone just because of their looks or how smart they are or any cool thing about them. We all really need to start learning to lift everyone up, just because! So what if she’s pretty? Who cares how skinny she is! That’s awesome if he is smart! Remind yourself to not be jealous of someone for what they have, look like, or act. Instead, just spread love and good vibes. I know I sound hippie-ish but seriously. Instead of the negative comments, how about, “Yeah she is really pretty!” or “She is skinny, good for her for being healthy!”

We need to end the the pattern of bashing each other, and know that we are all in life together. The same girl who you think is GORGEOUS, why don’t you tell her? If you think someone is super smart and intelligent? Holy shit, maybe tell them! It takes nothing to say good words, people! We are all on this earth together, and it is time to end the hate, end the shit talking, and start putting love and kindness out there. And you have no idea what that compliment might do for someone. Maybe that “beautiful” woman felt super insecure that day. I’m not saying we’re only jealous of each other’s looks, but I know how women are, and I know that we sometimes judge a women right away from what she looks like to how she talks. We really can be bitchy!

I have been getting compliments left and right about this blog, and the good words I have been receiving have been SO validating. Although I started this blog not caring who read it, and what people thought, it really is still so nice to hear the good words from everyone. So here I am, saying thank you so much for taking the time to tell me, and for lifting me up! So let’s starting doing that for everyone! Don’t hold back your compliments! Share them, and spread every ounce of positivity you have, because holy shit this world needs it, and we need to share it like a wildfire in California.

Our mentalities start with us, and we need to correct them if they are wrong. That is where we need to first start with self-reflecting. Ask yourself, am I like this? Do I do that? Even unintentionally? And then correct yourself in those moments of jealous-judging. Start correcting your friends too, but in a nice way!!! Let’s help others as we help ourselves, because we are all in this together. We are all here to help others out, just as they have done the same to us. Instead of spreading mean words, let’s guide our friends and guide ourselves to a more positive and healthier lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle starts with your mind first. Healthy mind = healthy life!

Perspective: the silver lining in every situation

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Take a minute to really understand and grasp the meaning behind these pictures. These two pictures are powerful, and should serve as daily reminders that there is always a silver lining behind every difficult situation.


“Baby, don’t you know, all o’them tears gon’ come and go. Baby you just gotta make up your mind that every little thing is gonna be alright.” Be Alright- Ariana Grande

As creatures of habit, and ones that tend to find little things to bitch about, it is important to start changing your perspective and mindset for the better. Behind every hard situation is something beautiful waiting to be revealed. Take a minute to think of something you have gone through, and now think of why you’re grateful that situation happened.

In 8th grade I went through severe depression. I started counseling, my dad called the principal to see if changing schools would be the best option, and no one understood what was going on. I was in a horrible rut. I cried every day, I had no appetite, I had no desire to go to school, I was confused about life and who I was. I was scared of everything, and it was a horrible horrible time in my life. For months I was like this. BUT the silver lining that came to light was that when I came out of my depression I turned into the most outgoing, goofy, more confident little lady. Looking back, I am so glad I had to go through that to find out who I was. Obviously I didn’t learn everything about myself, but it turned me into a confident girl, ready to take on challenges that did not scare her, and I am so proud of who I was and who I turned into. The flower picture above is what describes this situation most. I BLOOMED after my depression.

I have gone through three break ups. Three heart breaks that were devastating and horrible, where my first two boyfriends really fucked me up mentally and it was so so challenging to get through those. But I learned new things about relationships, myself, what I wanted out of a guy, and re-learned how amazing I was!

“It’s like something has to die to help you realize – damn I feel alive.” Alive – Kehlani


During the hard times, find the positives! I know its hard, trust me!! But once you focus on your mentality, and focus on having a healthier mentality, you are starting the journey to a more positive lifestyle and attitude! Becoming a more positive person takes practice! It’s not a switch that you can flip, but a mentality that takes time to form and deploy in your daily life.

So start practicing! And if you’re going through a hard time right now, please know that there is something beautiful and magical awaiting to be unfolded and discovered. I STRONGLY believe that everything happens for a reason, so please continue on working on being the happy, positive person that you can be, and then life will show you kindness and love back. God gives you what you need, and He shows you what you don’t need. He teaches us these beautiful lessons, and we HAVE to trust Him.